Through the Seasons

Riverside Campsite in Iringa where we stopped for lunch on the first travel day:

On the main road through Mikumi park:

The guest house we’re staying at in Dodoma:

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We’re getting much closer to finalizing our furlough plans.  It looks like we’ll leave here at the end of June and be home for 6 months (until just after the turn of the year).  We don’t have specific dates yet or our plane tickets but we’ve been researching and should have everything settled pretty soon.

As I think about furlough I get so excited.  I kind of wish we were going a little later so Asher would actually have memories of America from this trip but that will have to wait until next time.

I can’t wait to see friends and family and I can’t wait for them to see Asher.  We’ve been gone since he was 7 weeks old and he turns 2 years old in 2 weeks.  He’s changed so much!

Of course sometimes I daydream about all the things I may do when I’m home and it hits me that it’s only a 6 month trip.  We’ll only be able to do so much.  But the main thing is to see friends and family.

And to eat.

Salmon, asparagus, sour cream…  Mmmm…  Big chicken breasts that are solid meat.  Imagine!  And I’m sure there are plenty of other things that will hit me as the time approaches, and it will come quickly I’m sure!

Better get to packing… 

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I have been trying, lately, to make breakfast for us.  Jonathan and I used to just grab something on our own whenever the hunger got bad enough (usually mid-morning) while I fed Asher shortly after he woke up but he always played and ate at the same time.  Now we’ve been sitting down at the table for a family meal.  And what a difference!

I have noticed that now Asher eats less between breakfast and lunch and more at lunch.  Because of this he eats less between lunch and dinner and more at dinner.  This also means that he’s eating more of the “good stuff” (i.e. vegetables) instead of walking around eating bread and fruit all day.  Not that wheat bread and fruit are bad and he does still eat those but he now eats a more balanced diet of vegetables, grains, protein, and fruit.

Oh and we are too.

I can tell a difference just in how I feel when I sit down and eat a quality breakfast.  I used to eat something while doing other things and it just wasn’t as satisfying.

This has been a great change for all of us.  Jonathan even reads a Psalm to us every morning.  I’m really enjoying this new trend. I didn’t realize the rest of my family would benefit so much or even want to be bothered with breakfast.  Cook it and they will come, I have learned.

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I’ve just been reading through Exodus and it never ceases to amaze me how much the Israelites grumbled.  God would do something loving, wonderful, miraculous.  A little further in the journey they’d hit a tough spot and they’d go straight to complaining again.  I’d judge them if I didn’t relate to them so much.  I really want to become a woman who is grateful instead of grumbling.  Only by the grace of God will that happen and I pray for it to.

“Do everything without complaining or arguing”  ~Philippians 2:14

And you know it just hit me that it comes down to a matter of trust.  Do I trust God to take care of me?  Do I trust Him to handle the tough bits of my life?  Do I have hope in Him when things around me appear hopeless?

I pray, “…help me overcome my unbelief!”  ~Mark 9:24b

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I’ve been thinking a lot about “unknowns” and the “unexpected” lately.  I comfort myself with my expectations.  They give me a feeling of ease and control.  I go around feeling at peace because I think that I know what I can expect in the near future.

Then there are times when things get a little tumultuous and I see the unknowns and uncertainty of life clearly in front of me.  The times when I don’t have enough information to make reasonable expectations.  The times when I’m standing at a crossroads and I’m not sure which way my life will turn because – and this is the most frightening realization of all – I have no control over the situation.

But the truth is…  At any point in life the unexpected can (and does) happen.  It can be little things like Asher waking up early from his nap or dinner burning and having to change plans.  It can be big things like getting in a car accident or inheriting a fortune.  In reality, all these expectations I make every day are uneducated guesses.  They are assumptions.

I look back at the big, sudden turns my life has taken and realize that many times the way I envision my life on any given day can be abruptly changed.  One of the best surprises I ever got was finding out I was pregnant with Asher.  It’s funny to remember where I was immediately before taking that test.  Oh I knew exactly what was going to happen with my life.  I had it all planned out.  Then.  WHAM!  Everything changes.  I wouldn’t have had my original plan for anything in the world at that point.  Little did I know that God had such huge things in store!

And it’s that way now.  Even when I can’t see the road in front of me and I can’t secure myself to my faulty expectations of the future.  Even in the midst of uncertainty.  I rest in three things.  One, God knows everything and is surprised by nothing.  Two, God is in control.  Three, God is good.

And in those facts should come my security, hope, joy, and peace every single day – not just in times when I loose my footing.  I love the Psalms where God is portrayed as lifting us up out of a hardship and placing us down on a solid foundation.  He is that Rock.  And on that Rock I stand.

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…are the demise of blogging.

I tend to quickly jot down my thoughts via those other avenues and then feel redundant if I do so again on my blog albeit in longer form.  I also now tend to think in “headlines” usually 140 characters or less.  And I can’t believe it because I’ve always loved blogging.  Is this what we’re coming to?  Is this all anyone has time for?  Tidbits instead of in-depth thoughts?  Sigh.

One day I guess blogging will go the way of letter writing.  It’s a shame no one has time for letters anymore, isn’t it?  The downfall isn’t only the time it takes to get out a piece of paper and pen but the wait for the letter to reach its destination is almost painful.  And by the time it’s read the news will be old and outdated.  We have to keep current after all!

Oh I’m not complaining.  I am identifying with all of this.  And I willingly jumped on the Twitter and Facebook wagon.  I think I’ll not let it deter me from blogging anymore though.  But if anyone wants more (and shorter) updates than found here you can look me up or email me and I’ll let you know how to follow/friend me.

See you there!

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I used to see people with these whiny kids (usually at restaurants or in stores) and wonder why they put up with such behavior.  I didn’t pretend to know the answer but it always made me ponder.

But.  Now I get it.

Kids are so persistent and relentless.  They don’t give up.  They don’t tire.  They push and push and push.  They insist.  And honestly sometimes it’s just easier to give in knowing the crying/screaming/whining will stop (at least temporarily).  It’s hard to outlast and endure.

But I’m trying.  I’m holding on.

Asher is 22 months old now and just displaying these “2-year-old” kind of behaviors.  At first I was so shocked by them I couldn’t cope.  I was scrambling to keep up with where he was heading developmentally.  (Aren’t they supposed to start acting like 2 year olds after they turn 2!?)  I didn’t have a strategy because I didn’t expect the behavior.

I’ve regrouped though and it’s already paying off.  Even if my tactics weren’t working he still has so many sweet, adorable moments I could never been frustrated with him long. And if nothing else at least now I understand why parents give in to the tantrums out of sheer exasperation.  I think the next time I see a frazzled mother with a screaming child I’ll offer up a prayer for her and maybe even stop to buy her an ice cream cone.  Or offer to babysit.  Hmmm…  Or maybe not.

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Before I had Asher I pictured him nestled down in his crib sleeping soundly.  Not long after his birth I realized that was totally unrealistic with this baby if I was really committed to not using the “cry-it-out” method of “sleep training”.  So amidst guilt for not doing it “the normal way” Asher slept with us.

The longer he stayed in our bed and the older he got and the more aware of his surroundings and routines he became, the more nervous I grew about the transition from our bed to his own. The warning we heard most often when we first started co-sleeping was that he would never leave our bed and that eventually he would cry it out.

Over the Christmas break Jonathan and I cleaned out Asher’s room and turned it from a baby room to a toddler’s room.  We packed up the baby stuff and stored it away.  We also put a comforter on his bed that we got for him here.  It features a hippo, zebra, elephant, and giraffe.

After the room transformation Asher just loved his room.  He wanted to be in there all the time.  Finally I asked him if he wanted to take a nap in his “big boy room”.  He jumped, laughed, and did a little dance.  Well.  Here we go I guess.

I didn’t plan when to wean Asher but took his lead for when he was ready and it appeared he was ready to get to his own room as well.  So with fear and trepidation we set out on the big transition. He had a great first nap there so we moved right on to having him sleep there at night.  We figured it was a grand opportunity that we really needed to take advantage of.

Our tactic has been to lay down with him until he falls asleep then leave.  We take turns of who will tend to him if he wakes up at night.  He has even slept all the way through the night since we started this and he still loves his room.  We’re very happy at how it’s been going and are still committed to not laying him in there to “cry it out”.  It may take us time to get to where he falls asleep without us there but we will continue to be patient with his progress.  Soon enough he won’t need us so we’re not rushing through it.  We’re proud of our big boy and love how much he loves his big boy bed and big boy room.  He’s growing up on us! 

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Sometimes I want to sit Asher down and say, “Look. I love you.  I want the absolute best for you. I want you to have fun and good things. I am not holding out on you or trying to wreck your enjoyment of life. I know things you don’t know. Trust me. My rules aren’t meant to be burdensome but are there for your good.  Obey me and your life will be the best it can be.”

And then I think God wants to sit me down and say that same thing to me.

So we discipline our kids and God disciplines us and we all learn our lessons.  There is just no guarantee on when we will see results.  The good news though is that no matter how long it takes, there will be fruit.

“And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?  ‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.’  It is for discipline that you have to endure.  God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  …  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  ~Hebrews 12:5-7, 10-11

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Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago.  ~Acts 3:19-21

Blessings coming from Repentance (turning from sin and to God):

1.  my sins are blotted out

2.  times of refreshing come from the presence of the Lord

3.  Christ Jesus comes back a second time to restore all things

God, having raised up his servant, sent him to you first, to bless you by turning every one of you from your wickedness.  ~Acts 3:26

How does God bless me?  By sending Christ to turn me from my wickedness.

Repentance is good.  Turning away from what we’re tempted toward by the flesh is good.  Turning from wickedness is good.  Obedience is good.  Why?  Because I’m turning toward God and receiving abundant blessings from Him through Jesus.  Oh to have forgiveness and cleansing from my sins!  Oh to be refreshed by His presence!

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.  For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.  ~Psalm 5:11-12

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