Through the Seasons

Trust vs. Works

I am extremely task-oriented. I have a work ethic that a counselor one time labeled as strange. I thought he was strange for discounting a solid effort. But now I’m starting to see the light. I don’t put forth a solid effort; I put unrealistic expectations on myself and then practically kill myself trying to accomplish it all – while blinding myself to others who may keep me from my goal. Sometimes I see what needs to be done and I’m so focused on that, I’m oblivious to the world around me and secretly curse any interruption to my own plans.

I tend to rely on rules and procedures. I grew up going to a liturgical type church. They focused a lot on God’s love. I kept saying, “I just want to know what I can and can’t do.” That way I could measure myself, keep track, and know that I’m doing enough. Ouch. But then I found out I was never doing enough. I praise Him to the depths of my soul that He didn’t give us the law and let it go at that. The law has done in my life what it was designed to do – it lets me know how far short I fall and how much I need God’s grace. So why do I accept His grace for my salvation and then turn to my works for sanctification? It’s such an easy trap to fall into.

God is teaching me this lesson step-by-step. Just today I realized who works is really for: me. If I rely on my works it means that the “service” I do is to gain acceptance and feel okay about “doing enough”. There’s no love in that. It’s really just self-service and on the Day of Judgment all those things will be burned through fire.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.  ~1 Corinthians 13:3

Praise God for His patience, mercy and grace. He loves me where I am but doesn’t leave me here. I pray for God to use me for His service His way in His timing. I will focus on Him and follow His direction. What freedom!