Through the Seasons

No is a complete sentence

I have found I have a very hard time saying ‘no’. 

Today a lady here at JAARS called and asked if I could babysit for one of the trainers.  I was just about to walk out to volunteer at Elevation Church.  I tried to figure out how I could be in Waxhaw babysitting and in Indian Trail doing accounting at the same time.  No matter how many times I turned it over in my mind I couldn’t figure out how to do both so I had to say ‘no’ to babysitting.  I had already committed my time to Elevation.

If I would have said ‘yes’ to babysitting, I would have been saying ‘no’ to volunteering at the church.  The Pastor of Elevation once told us that he used to think he had a hard time saying ‘no’ but then he realized that each time he overcommitted himself, by saying ‘yes’ to many, he was saying ‘no’ to others.  If he did everything asked of him, he would be saying ‘no’ to his wife and son a lot.  To his credit, that is unacceptable to him. 

We don’t realize we’re doing it though.  We think saying ‘yes’ to everyone is the best thing.  But it’s not.

I’m thinking the way to determine when to say ’yes’ and when to say ‘no’ is by prioritizing.  I need a certain amount of time with my husband and a certain amount recharging my batteries but what’s going to happen if I commit to others and crowd out that time?  There are no immediate consequences which makes it easy to disregard.  The effects do come later though.  We can’t pretend we can do it all.  We can’t try to do it all. 

By blocking out our time we will be at our best in all of our activities instead of running around on fumes.  Our attitude to people will be more pleasant and resentment won’t have a foothold.  I still say it’s hard to say ‘no’ when asked for something but if I can begin to realize that by telling someone ‘yes’, I have said ‘no’ to something or someone else, I think that may help to relieve the false guilt and enable me to pour myself wholly and gladly into all I do.