Through the Seasons

Absolute Opposites

I posted recently about how Jonathan and I seem to work in opposite ways.  Well, last night we each took the Myers Briggs personality test.  We are absolute opposites.  So no wonder we don’t work in the same way!  I have found many things that will help me understand him better but one question, in particular, stood out.  He answered that inspiration motivates him much more than a logical argument.

That explains a lot.

When we plan to do anything, I will outline step by step how it is to be done after stating my case for why this is important. 

I might as well talk to myself.

So, I’m supposed to inspire him.  Inspiration isn’t my thing.  Realism is.  I really don’t know the first step in how to do this.  (But please tell me there is a step by step solution!)

This isn’t a coincidence though.  God put us together and will help us to learn about each other.  By being with someone so different it also makes you exercise parts of yourself that you don’t realize exist.  Through learning and trying and bending, we will grow tremendously.

After the test last night I told Jonathan that I love that he’s different.  (Although some of our differences cause me stress and strain.)  What if he were exactly like me?  I’d immediately be bored.  I would have met him and said, “Oh.  I know what you’re all about.”  But now I have the opportunity to spend a lifetime learning who he is and how he thinks.  It’s really exciting! 

Just last week we had an experience that I now understand better.  I like to be punctual and Jonathan doesn’t value punctuality much.  Not that he totally disregards it and purposes to be late.  He just doesn’t plan ahead in order to make sure he’s on time.  This is one of my stressors.  The other night we left late and it was going to keep us from running 2 errands that I wanted to get done that night.  In my frustration I just told him how I felt.  I didn’t accuse or get mad.  I just told him that being on time is important to me and that running those 2 errands was important to me and now because we left late none of that was going to happen.  Looking back I realize that I felt hurt and disregarded.  He immediately resolved to try his best to leave on time from now on.  I was shocked. 

The personality test we took showed that Jonathan values people above logic.  (Surely not!?)  So when I told him that it was important to me, his ears perked up.  He decided that he would do whatever it took to put me before his tendency to run late.  I could have given him a very detailed logical argument for why it’s best to be punctual but he would have become defensive and demotivated.

So, I’m learning!

Here’s the real problem though.  And it’s a scary one.

When we get to Africa, Jonathan’s going to have to teach me how NOT to be punctual.  He’s going to have to teach me how to put people before logic and tasks.  He’s going to have to teach me how to embrace life instead of a schedule.

That actually sounds kind of fun, doesn’t it?  I’m so grateful that God gave me a husband who will challenge me and cause me to grow.  There are many things about him that I admire.  I pray I never take those for granted or try to change him into something he’s not.  I want to love our differences as we love each other, not in spite of them, but because of them.