Dana’s Avenue

We have daily battles.  Well, at least I do.  I probably post about this a lot but it’s a lesson I’m learning over and over. 

This morning we went to get our immunizations.  Our plan is to volunteer at the church afterwards.  That means I have a schedule I’d like to stick to.  While we were getting our shots Jonathan mentioned that he has a doctor’s appointment at 10am.  Hmmm, first snag to the plan. 

As we stopped by the desk after our first appointment, a man was already there so we had to wait, and wait, and wait.  He came by the clinic to ask for medical advice… at the front counter… and he asked and asked… and we waited and waited… then he said, ‘let me tell you something funny’.  Oh my gosh.  So.  I went to the ladies room and started praying.  At that moment I had a choice - lose my temper or have the patience of Christ.  I started repeating to myself, “patience, patience, patience… future glory, future glory, future glory…”.  I held back in that moment but the storm still raged inside. 

Now I’m battling irritability and impatience in general.  I still have a choice and now that I’ve gotten myself all worked up, the temptation to ‘lose it’ is greater.  But not greater than He who is in me!!  The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak - especially when we begin to feed the fleshly desires.  Is it worth getting worked up about?  No.  Does it feel like it’s worth it?  Yes.  But there’s my choice… and I read in the Psalms this morning that our lives are but a breath.  Why waste it with inner turmoil?

So the challenge is set before me.  Guard my heart, ask the Lord to guard my mouth, and let the peace of God guard my mind. 

     Deep…

            breath…

I read this gem in the blog world today.  To see more of Sarah’s musings visit her blog at: http://musingswithsarah.blogspot.com/.  Her writing is beautiful and insightful.  Enjoy!

Wanted: Holiness
Getting off the Merry-Go-Round

Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God. No one sins out of duty. We sin because it holds out some promise of happiness. That promise enslaves us until we believe that God is more to be desired than life itself (Psalm 63:3). Which means that the power of sin’s promise is broken by the power of God’s. All that God promises to be for us in Jesus stands over against what sin promises to be for us without him. This great prospect of the glory of God is what I call future grace. Being satisfied with that is what I call faith.

JOHN PIPER1

Thought it may seem like common sense for you, for me, today, the above passage is like fireworks to my soul: a revelation! Last night (or rather, early this morning) I laid on my pillow after a thought-provoking instant messenger conversation with a far away friend thinking, “I guess it comes down to needing to desire holiness more than sin, desiring what God offers more than the temporal pleasures of sin.”

The promise sin offered had kept me on the gaudy plastic merry-go-round for so long that I had forgotten how to get off or why I would want to. Though the tinny music kept giving me headaches, and I knew there was something I should get off for, the rush of spinning around on the ride was enough to entice me to stay for another round, then another, then another.

And now, it hits me: “That [promise of happiness] enslaves us until we believe that God is more to be desired than life itself.” I’ve been a slave to the plastic horses when God is offering me a warrior’s stallion if only I’d choose him, desire him, and accept his promise.

God, give me the quotidian faith to hold out for future grace, especially when the fireworks fizzle out and I can hear the merry-go-round in the distance. I choose the stallion. I choose the stallion.

1. His Promises: Devotions for Every Day of the Year. 2005: Integrity Publishing.

Well, I’m feeling much better now.  I don’t spring out of bed or anything - but I’ve never done that so I’d say I’m back to normal.

I have my ‘to do’ list and marked THREE things off of it just today! 

I don’t know what made the difference though.  I’m not feeling particularly inspired or energetic.  I just know that things need to be done whether I particularly feel like it or not.  What I figure is that it takes a certain amount of humility (a lot more than I have on my own) to do things you need to do even if you don’t want to.  Like dishes and general housecleaning.  Not my favorite things but Colossians 3:23,24 say, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” 

Whatever we do?!  So I can clean house, do laundry, gather tax documents, and schedule appointments with all of my heart because it is the Lord Christ I am serving.  Well, that gives EVERYTHING I do a purpose.  Remember, I said I didn’t just want to be BUSY.  I wanted to be BUSY with a PURPOSE.  Well, I always am.  That’s what the Bible says. 

How exactly do household chores serve Christ?  I don’t know.  You’d have to ask someone much smarter than me.  But what a verse to keep in mind when tasks aren’t our cup of tea or when they don’t give us a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Just the fact that our Lord is watching is enough, isn’t it? 

Well, for me today, it is.  And for those days when I long to be DOING something USEFUL I’ll remember this verse and commit all my ways to God realizing just Who I am serving. 

Jonathan and I have had the chance to be introduced to a couple who have been on the mission field for decades and are now working here at JAARS.  We’ve entered into somewhat of a mentoring relationship as they are older and wiser than us.  There have been meals shared and hours of talking.  Now they want to know what we want from the mentoring and I’m at a loss.  I don’t have any idea as I’ve never had anyone like this in my life before. 

So, I turn the question to you.  What do you think of mentoring?  Any experience or opinions on this?  We’d appreciate your help!!

Jonathan and I had dinner plans with friends last night.  As we were getting ready to leave, our TV buzzed off.  When we checked it, we found that it had completely died.  But we were walking out the door so just left the whole situation for another time. 

During our dinner conversation I was saying that most people where we’re going in Africa don’t have TV’s.  Then I made a joke that, well, we don’t either now.  I told them about ours dying and then just went on with our conversation. 

Before we left, our friends showed us a TV that they’ve had stored away and don’t plan to use.  They didn’t just let us borrow it but they actually GAVE it to us!

Is that crazy or what?  I’m still blown away. 

That’s not all God did last night either.

I’ve heard a few times lately about praying God’s word and about a Beth Moore book on that topic.  Last night our friends brought up the same issue and gave us that Beth Moore book as our own!  We also got another big book on the subject to borrow.  Really awesome!

Then to top it off they became partners and put us at over 50% support!  And to have such prayer warriors and encouragers on the team is a HUGE blessing to us.

Again.  God showed off last night in huge ways!!

Yesterday afternoon Jonathan and I took some time to walk around the Carolina Raptor Center in Huntersville.  We had such a good time.  They take in hawks, falcons, owls, eagles, etc that have been injured and they take care of them because many can’t survive in the wild anymore.  It was awesome to see these birds up close and to learn more about them.

For instance, most falcons have a post-like bone in the middle of their nostrils which breaks up the air as it comes in.  That enables them to breathe while flying at such high speeds.  Some hawks have a small bone that protrudes just above the eyes which serves as something like a baseball cap shielding the eyes from the sun.

Interesting…

The owls were beautiful although a little spooky because they sat very still and stared at us.  The other raptors were more into ‘their own thing’ or if they were interested in us they still flew around a lot.  The red shouldered hawk is a very vocal bird and was the only one that squawked at us over and over and over. 

But the highlight were the eagles.  Wow.  Huge birds!  And beautiful!!  We happened to get there when a staff member fed the eagles.  She goes in with dead rats (g-a-ross!) and lays them down then she leaves.  As she was walking away she looked and said, “We have a chick!”  We looked closely and there on the ground was a newly hatched eagle baby - I mean - chick.  They checked on the eggs earlier that day so that egg had to have just hatched.  Then we watched as the mother fed the baby.  It was so sweet!  In fact the mom and dad both stood over it, the mother fed the baby, then she sheltered it with her body.

Any birds ‘born’ at the raptor center are released into the wild so they aren’t allowed to see people.  Later yesterday they tarped that area off to shield them from the public.  That means if we hadn’t gotten there when we did we wouldn’t have gotten to see them.  Those eagle ‘parents’ laid eggs (they lay 2-3 a year) 8 years in a row with none of them hatching.  Last year though 2 eggs hatched and now they are ‘out there somewhere’.  So this is only the second year in the last 10 that they’ve had any eagle babies. 

Here’s a picture of what we saw:

“For the LORD’s portion is His people, Jacob his allotted inheritance.

In a desert land He found him, in a barren and howling waste.

He shielded him and cared for him; He guarded him as the apple of His eye,

like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young,

that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.”

                                              ~Deuteronomy 32:9-11

And he’s a problem solver.  When he read the 2 posts before the one about Oprah, he reacted.

He started giving me projects.  Not big ones but small ones like: ordering our groceries or cleaning the RV.

Well, I had to explain, that’s not the type of project I was talking about. 

Then he asked me to plan a trip to see an Aunt (and partner) and on the way back to stop at a few local parks.  Then he told me a lot of info about different places we could stay.  I got overwhelmed. 

That’s not really what I was talking about either.

It’s hard to explain I guess, especially to someone so different.  I could be BUSY.  But I don’t have anything that can keep me BUSY with a PURPOSE right now.

I know life doesn’t always have to be full of goals.  So maybe I should create some in my mind so I trick myself into feeling like I’m working towards something, making progress, getting results. 

And hopefully Jonathan doesn’t keep asking me to do icky, random tasks.  (Sorry honey.)

Is a must see!  It comes on again tonight at 9:00 (I think).  The Bill O’Reily segment was particularly interesting.  I didn’t know organizations like that even existed… and to hear those stories…  If you can’t watch it tonight, check it out on www.oprah.com.  I’m not sure what all she’ll post on there about today’s show but hopefully enough to give you a good idea.  It makes me pray for strong fathers and for our country’s leaders…  Speaking of leaders, there is a link on her website where you can email your local congresspeople and governor.  She gives you a sample letter and/or email if you’d like to send it, or you can write your own.  Basically, the letter advocates stronger Child Protective laws.  We can make a difference!!

Okay, I just posted about having a lack of motivation (see my last post titled ‘What is wrong with me?’).  Because I like to research, I looked online for ‘how to motivate an ISTJ’.  (ISTJ is my personality type.)  Here’s what I found:

“Nearly all the time, ISTJs seem to have something to do, an agenda.”

Right now, no agenda.  It’s true.  I mean overall there’s an agenda but not on a daily basis.  I’m sort of on ‘cruise control’.  That’s not a place I like to be.  I need little goals to go along with my big goal.  I feel lost…

“ISTJs are often in a hurry. Not because they are late – on the contrary: they seem always to be on time. They are in a hurry because they try to do more in less time.”

I really have no daily tasks to try to do in less time.  An ideal situation would be to have daily tasks that contribute to small goals which, in turn, contribute to one big goal - and to be in a hurry trying to do more of these tasks in less time.  Ah, the sense of accomplishment that comes from that…  I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it!

“The ISTJs are results-oriented, goal-oriented.”

Results!  Yes!  That’s what I’m looking for!  Maybe I like to look back at the day and see what I’ve accomplished.

“The danger for ISTJs, obviously, is that they might miss the whole point of life while brilliantly measuring it in umpteen different ways.”

Is that true?  Yikes.

But it’s all good.  I don’t HAVE to do things every day.  I don’t HAVE to have results.  I can live with a little blah feeling.  It’s false anyway.  I mean, in reality, everything’s going great.  I think I’ll rest on that.

Although don’t get me wrong, when a goal, an agenda, some tasks, a need to be in a hurry, and a way to get results comes along I’ll grab it with all the force I can muster!  As boring as it may sound, it’s what makes me feel alive! 

As I’ve said before, Jonathan and I do things very differently.  In our support-raising efforts I took over with my planning skills and ran the show.  I got a lot of resistance because I was running a pretty tight ship - inflexible, about to break kind of tight.  So, I repented of my unsubmissive ways, Jonathan took back over the lead around here, and peace reigns.

So, what’s wrong with me then?

It’s like I have no energy lately.  The support raising work is going fine, I suppose.  We’re not as busy as we used to be.  It’s better, I believe.  But it’s almost like having nothing to run or organize or plan… I’ve lost the ability to think about anything.  It’s sort of depressing. 

Every time I see a tax prep commercial I think, I need to call the Wycliffe tax guy to get ours done.  But I haven’t actually called him yet.  A friend left a message on my cell phone the other day.  I have yet to call her back either.  We’re meeting with a couple next week and I have some decisions to make before then.  I just don’t have the mental capacity for it.  Ugh…  I’ve still been volunteering at the church and I’m fulfilling my commitments (of course) but something just seems to be missing. 

Maybe I’m feeling this way today in particular because I got up early to exercise and I’m just plain tired.  Or maybe I just need a goal to work towards.  I love progress and I guess right now I’m not personally working towards a goal.  I’m just sort of along for the ride.

I think my lack of energy is actually a lack of motivation.  Anybody got anything they want me to do?  Like a project.  Ooo, better yet.  Anybody got a goal they’re working towards and need someone to organize an execution plan?  I can create a thorough ’to do list’ and a pretty spreadsheet! 

Really.  I’ll be fine.  I’m not a human doing.  I’m a human being.  I can live through what I perceive as an unproductive time.  God is working.  Jonathan is working.  I’m helping.  Things are happening.  Our support level is increasing.  Praise God for His faithfulness and for His way of doing things… and for His way of living…