Dana’s Avenue

That’s what I’m talking about.  Bon Jovi on American Idol.  Now everything’s lookin’ up…

The only way I can explain how I feel right now is to compare moving to Africa and jumping off the edge of the Grand Canyon.  Stay with me here.

When you go to the Grand Canyon you don’t just pull up to it.  You don’t see it for miles away and watch it slowly approach.  You drive through the forest and all you can see are trees.  The drive is long and beautiful but the scenery is very unlike what you’d expect to be surrounding the dry, colorful, barren chasm cut into the earth.  You can’t tell the difference between being 45 minutes away and 10 minutes away.  It’s just forests and greenery.  You settle in to the ride and as you get closer you don’t take your eyes off the trees.  You don’t even realize that just beyond your sight is one of the greatest wonders of all God’s creation.  You park at the canyon still not seeing it.  You begin to walk and abruptly the trees end and you are assaulted with beauty.  It’s almost too much to take in as fast as it comes upon you.  Just all of the sudden you’re THERE and it takes your breath away.

Welcome to my world.

We’ve been preparing one task at a time.  Slowly moving forward without really seeing how fast the time to leave was approaching.  We had our eyes firmly on the trees not realizing that just beyond our sight was the moment we’d be at the edge of our great adventure.  Just all of the sudden - boom - here we are.  On the edge.  Ready to jump.  And just like walking up to the Grand Canyon, our time for departure coming upon me took my breath away.  Now my senses are still trying to catch up with reality.  It’s awesome and exciting and beautiful and daunting and terrifying all at the same time.  Praise be to God who is the Maker, Creator, and Controller of all.  In that I can rest and have peace as I … jump.

Today should be interesting.  We’re visiting a local Methodist Church all morning.  They don’t have an established missions program but the pastor recently met us and two other missionary couples.  He took that opportunity from God to introduce his congregation to us and the idea of missions.  We’ll be speaking at both services and every Sunday school class.  I picture us being whisked from one group to the next.  We’ve definitely never had an event like this before so I have no idea exactly how we’re going to handle it especially knowing that each of these groups is also hearing from 2 other couples.  It’s exciting though.  The opportunities God has presented us with have been awesome! 

I admit it.  I’ve never been much of a cook. 

Since being in a house again, I’ve started trying new recipes - well, they’re all new to me - tweaking some of them to fit my own creativity.  I’ve even been experimenting with new, fresh, unusual (to me) ingredients.

Recently, we hosted a dinner party and it was so much fun putting a menu together, cooking the dinner, preparing it for a nice presentation.  That’s the moment I really got it.  I found myself actually having fun… while cooking.  Who knew!?

My favorite thing to make?  Salads.  I love choosing different kinds of nuts, dried fruit, fresh fruit, cheese, and mixed greens then putting it all together in a fresh display.  Almost every time I make a salad I step back and say, “Isn’t it beautiful!”  And it ends up tasting really good too.  I think the aesthetics help somehow.

I really have to thank my husband on this because without him giving me the freedom to explore (and extending grace when it doesn’t work out) I would have given up long ago.  I can’t even tell you how many times I warn him before serving dinner.  Gratefully, those instances are becoming fewer and fewer.  I think I’m finally getting it.

When we were sharing with someone our current support percentage (68%) and when we’re planning to leave (end of July) they laughed. 

Okay, I admit it’s totally unreasonable to think we could raise the rest of our support that quickly.  It’s also unreasonable that our support would already be up to 68%.  We get our confidence not from logical analysis but from the fact that God is in control and no one can thwart His plans. 

It’s interesting that just this morning I read about Jesus getting laughed at.  What was His response?  Nothing.  He didn’t even bother answering His critics.  He let people laugh and then just stood firm knowing Who He was pleasing and the business He was made to attend to.  He kept the course of His purpose.  Those who laughed eventually saw that what Jesus said was Truth. 

So that’ll be our response too.  We’ll let God show them what He has in store… and in the process He’ll show us too.

Nobody cares.

I’ve grown up a girlie girl always concerned over the hair and make-up.  I used to spend hours getting ready to go out at night (even leaving my guests waiting as I changed outfits a million times).  It used to take me 10 minutes to put on mascara (because I’d take a needle and separate my lashes one-by-one).  In the past, I’ve gotten completely ready, not been happy with my hair, and started all over. 

But I was born this way.  Really!!

When I was around 5 years old my dad took me out to teach me to play tennis.  He would toss the ball.  I would swing the racket, miss, and ask him to wait before throwing it again.  Then I’d set my racket down, fix my hair, and carefully pick the racket back up before starting the cycle over again.  I don’t know if I ever even hit one ball.  Oh well.

The older I get the more I realize people really don’t care as much about the outside as they do about the inside - and for good reason.  I can go out all “prettied” up but if I bite someone’s head off, they won’t be impressed that each of my eyelashes has been thickened and lengthened (and there’s no clumping or flaking).  But I can go out without make-up (without getting horrified looks I’m happy to announce), smile at someone, and make their day. 

So I’m convinced that nobody cares how much time I spend on my hair and make-up but I’m also convinced that the way Jesus tells us to live isn’t only a command but the BEST way to live.

Matthew 23:25b, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”

Matthew 23:27b-28, “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

Of course these verses have much deeper meanings than just outward physical appearance.  But as I look at how long I lived only focusing on the outside…  I value inner beauty more than ever - in myself and in others.  I hope to always remember to clean the inside and let that radiate outward. 

I get asked that a lot.  Well, to help you understand, I’ll break it down.  We have the usual personal stuff - taking care of our home, our pets, and each other.  We have our ministry stuff like updating the website, making phone calls, sending notes and letters.  Then we have our personal/ministry stuff which is everything we need to do to get ourselves to Tanzania. 

Today I focused on that third area mainly.  I sorted and organized the information we’ve gotten from Tanzania so far.  Then we set to accomplishing a few of the items on the very long list.  We made copies of our passports.  We filled out our Resident Work Permit applications.  And we’re both still working on preparing our resumes to attach to that application.

Our personnel administrator also asked for some forms - medical forms.  Just sorting through them and answering all those questions, made me feel sick.  I’m glad they didn’t ask if I was a hypochondriac.

Speaking of medical, I also made the appointment for my physical.  Jonathan said they take like 4 samples of blood.  I’ll definitely pass out.  But I have a couple weeks to obsess about that…

So that’s my answer for today.  Every single day looks different and I’m actually kind of enjoying it.  No telling what tomorrow will bring…

My story starts at sea… a perilous voyage to an unknown land… a shipwreck… the wild waters roar and heave… the brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned… all save one… a lady… whose soul is greater than the ocean… and her spirit stronger than the sea’s embrace… not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger soil. 

~William Shakespeare, Shakespeare in Love

(Anna in Tanzania.  Visit her website at: http://www.lostinafrica.org.uk/)

I’ve occasionally been in contact with a missionary (see picture) from the UK now living in Mbeya, Tanzania.  One time I asked her what she found herself missing from her “old life”.  Her answer?  Nothing really.

Nothing?!  How is that?  Does she have in Africa everything she had in the UK?  Certainly not.  Did she just not have much in England in the first place?  Doubtful.

As I’ve pondered this phenomenon I’ve thought that maybe her contentment comes for various reasons. 

First, there’s a natural adjustment to changing circumstances.  We all experience this in life.  Things change around us and we just adapt.  Our minds leave the past and just get used to life as we now know it.  This also happens when there’s a big change such as a new job, the death of a loved one, or moving to a different town.  Looking ahead we don’t know how we’d ever get through such big changes but somehow we do.  With passing time we move forward.

The second thing I think helps is the attitude we take to these events.  How long and tight do we hold onto how we think things should be?  The sooner we let go of our preconceived notions and grasp onto reality, the easier the adjustment.

I know for sure that my new friend doesn’t have a mall and in fact shopping for clothes is quite different in many ways.  Clothes are hard to find and more often made than purchased - and the clothes she does find are not her familiar, comfortable clothes.  She had to adjust.  She doesn’t focus on what she had in the UK.  She just accepts reality and adapts to that difference.

I just hope I can do as well as she has.  Doing without long, hot showers, malls, hazelnut creamer… and whatever else…  Is it the end of the world?  Nah.  There doesn’t end up being a void where the things of America aren’t found.  It just gets filled in with the things of Africa.  Seeing that though takes a sense of adventure and discovery - not resistance. 

This reminds me of when we moved into the RV.  There were many things we began living without - but we gained a lot too.  And we made it just fine through such an adjustment. 

I hope one day when someone asks me what I miss when living in Tanzania I can honestly say, “nothing really”.

Maybe goals don’t agree with me.  I don’t like to float through life either but I do a pretty good job of progressing on things without defining what I want to get done.  So do I need to set goals at all?

If I make a list of tasks I want to accomplish, it sets me in motion that moment so I can mark those things right back off my list.  Man, do I love that feeling.

I printed out a “Bible in a Year” reading schedule and just the action of marking off my progress sent me into a pace where I finished the Bible in about 5 months instead of 12.  Now, Jonathan and I have begun another reading schedule and I’m determined to stick to the plan and not read ahead (well, not read very far ahead anyway).  It’s very hard not to start speeding forward.

For our preparation for Africa we set up a white board listing what we need to do before leaving.  Jonathan’s items are in blue, mine in pink, and ours together in green.  Honestly there’s not much pink on there (too bad, because it would be prettier if there was).  It’s not because I’m not doing anything.  It’s because the moment something comes up I want is done right then and I set out to accomplish it.  Things just don’t sit on my ‘to do’ list long.

But my current situation is a completely different one.  I decided to send the Christian novels I have that I’ve already read to a friend.  Once I sorted through those, I shifted my focus to my ‘yet-to-be-read’ books.  I decided to get a couple more books read so I could go ahead and send them to her too.  I need to send them off by the middle of next month. 

Once I set that goal everything changed for me.  I picked a book I thought she’d like and began reading it yesterday - and finished it today - and immediately put it in ‘her’ pile and chose another book she may like - and got through the first 4 chapters. 

But I just noticed something.

My heart is racing.  I’m reading noticeably fast. 

Before you think I’m crazy.  It takes a lot of insight to realize what’s going on and a lot of transparency to admit it - online.

So what is going on?  What do I do with these goals I set?  Or do I continue setting goals at all?  All the sudden it’s not about enjoying a book, it’s about progressing, it’s about getting through it, it’s about getting through as many as possible as soon as possible. 

Is that how I’m reading the Bible too?  I really try to read slowly and soak it up.  But it’s definitely a concerted effort.

Maybe I should make that kind of effort in other areas of my life too.

We’re currently preparing to move to Africa as missionaries.  (Excuse me a second while I let that sink in…)  We’re doing this once in a lifetime thing.  We’re living a dream - not everyone’s dream - our dream.  We’re fulfilling our calling - our calling from God.  Am I enjoying it?  Or am I only focused on getting to the end of each step - accomplishing the needed tasks…  I won’t answer that…

I know I talk about this task oriented thing a lot.  It’s quite the struggle for me.  I’ll be fine though, of course,  The Lord is faithful to teach me and to cover my weaknesses. 

Someone told me recently that I need to relax more so I don’t end up burning out on the field.  My response was that I feared lapsing into a lazy existence.  What if I move too far the other direction and end up in an idle lifestyle?  My friend assured me that most likely that was impossible.  Impossible?  Okay.  I concede that point.

So here’s what I’m thinking.  (Gotta find a solution, of course.)  Maybe I should make a concerted effort to slow myself down, notice the blessings and experiences in my current life, enjoy the journey, and not get so focused on progress.  We can only progress so far, right?  At some point it all ends and that endpoint is completely out of our control.  But what if I also had a good time and looked around and said, ‘wow, what a ride we’re on’.  Now that sounds like a good goal.  I think I’ll get on that…

And Nat, if you’re reading this, no need to worry that sending you books is causing me a nervous breakdown.  Ha ha…  God will use every situation to teach, humble, and guide - and I’m grateful for that.  And as far as the speed reading that’s causing me a speedy pulse.  I won’t be doing that anymore.  I’d hate to have a heart attack and you never get any of the books.