Through the Seasons

I can’t figure out quite how I feel right now.  There are so many different emotions swirling around inside: excitement, sadness, anticipation, happiness… um… surreal-ness…  It’s hard to process, really. 

I promise I’m not a cold-hearted person.  I’m just not expressive of emotion so all these things are going on inside without a hint of it on the outside.  But it’s in there.  Sometimes one emotion comes up and at other times many come up at the same time.  For whatever reason I don’t know what to do with it all so I just let it come and go all the while staying focused on the task at hand – preparation. 

I think somewhere through our training we learned that we’re supposed to say goodbye and process leaving THEN embrace and adjust to our new area (instead of just replacing the old with the new).  I just don’t remember how they said that was supposed to happen…  Surely there are steps to this process.  Hmmm… 

Oh well.  For now I’ll just keep on keepin’ on.  Avoid it until it becomes unavoidable.  *sigh*

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I have had the privilege of getting to know a very special person.  Her name is Mya and many of you probably know her.  If you don’t, here’s her grand introduction! 

Mya has felt the call to be a full-time, overseas missionary for some time now.  After much prayer and consideration she has obeyed God and chosen to serve wherever He leads.  Mya has such a heart for people…especially children…and plans to apply with Wycliffe Bible Translators in the near future.  She will most likely be working with missionary kids somewhere in another part of the world. 

I have enjoyed my time with Mya and look forward to watching God continue writing His story for her life.  Her faith, joy, peace, purpose, talent, and skills shine like a light not only to a lost world but to her fellow Christians as well.  She is one of the godliest women I know and I am blessed to call her my friend.

If you want to learn more about Mya and follow her as she begins her journey visit her blog at:  http://john434.blogspot.com/.

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I’m trying hard not to countdown.  I’m trying hard not to countdown.  NO COUNTDOWN! 

In the wee hours of the morning when I’m no longer asleep but not quite awake a timeline starts running through my head.  And then I bolt upright and realize what I’m doing.  But I don’t want to do it. 

The planning, calculating side of me is clawing for attention right now but I refuse to go over to the dark side.  Tonight I overheard Jonathan saying, “Six weeks from today we’ll be…”  I wanted to run from the room with my hands over my hears singing, “La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la”. 

But I didn’t.  This is dangerous territory for me and I’m avoiding it with all the strength I can muster.  

It will arrive when it’s time to arrive and not before then.  Counting down does nothing but stir up emotion.  It changes nothing.  No countdown!

So as many of you have noticed, the time is approaching…but it’s not here yet… 

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It’s hard to classify people sometimes.  We have friends who are partners and partners who are friends.  I want to remember that they are parterning with us without forgetting that we regard them as friends and I want to recognize their friendship without taking for granted their partnership.

Okay.  But I digress.

A very wonderful, sweet couple (yes, both friends and partners to us) asked me if all of our paperwork was done now.  I shrugged and said, “No.  One step at a time.  It’ll get done.”  Then they said, “Well, you got the visas now though, right?”  I answered, “No.  The lady in Tanzania handling them said they’d be done on time so I trust they will be.”  (I guess I should have added that God was in control on top of that but all of us standing there at the moment knew that to be true.)

They were shocked at my response and recognized my growth in this area.  I do want to know for sure it’ll be done on time and I would rather everything be done early than right on time…but…it’s the control issue.  I guess God is getting through to me that I AM NOT IN CONTROL so all this fretting and worrying does nothing to help.  So I just relax.  For now anyway.

As I walked off I reminded them that this is where I am today (emotionally, spiritually).  You never know where I’ll be tomorrow.  It’s definitely one of my weak areas so I can’t let my guard down and I must continue to pray fervently.

Thank you guys for the encouragement.  God really shows His hand in our lives in many ways, doesn’t He?

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The second most frequent question we get is, “What will you eat?”  Honestly we don’t know.  I’m such a picky eater that this is one of my most challenging areas. 

We’ve heard that grasshoppers are a delicacy although I won’t be voluntarily partaking of them.  Apparently, you are to eat everything set in front of you so, by the grace of God, I’ll manage.  (Although if you clean your plate they give you more so the key is to eat some but not all.)  They drink a lot of hot tea with milk as well which I’ve never had and doesn’t sound particulary tasty to me but I’m willing to try it out.  I read that they like meat a lot and the main kind they eat is beef.  I’ve heard conflicting things concerning chicken.  Some say they have chicken to eat there (although don’t prefer it so the tourists are the main consumers) and others say they don’t have chicken to eat at all for fear of the bird flu.  We’ll see what we find when we actually arrive.

I found an article online that seems to agree with much of what we’ve learned already.  Here are some exerpts:

“Whenever a dish has a Swahili name, it invariably contains coconut and/or bananas. There is coconut milk and curry (made with home-grown curry, differing from the Madras types of curry in its flavor and bright orange color), coconut milk in soups, vegetables, egg dishes, fish, meat and poultry, as well as in dessert dishes. The bananas are used in meat stews as well as with fish and poultry. Ugali, the perennial cornmeal porridge, is the major staple. Rice is also frequently eaten.”

Have I mentioned that I despise coconut?  I guess I’ll have to acquire a taste for it.  Here’s more:

“To partake of the Tanzanian repast properly you need to be comfortably dressed, perhaps in slacks and a loose shirt, as you will sit on a mat on the floor in the home of your host.

Your host will dip into the Ugali or cassava or rice or other dish with the three fingers of the right hand, and once you have mastered this you will find the taste of the food quite different. You discover how to “work” the stew and vegetables into a loose ball of the right texture so that you can bring it to your mouth without dripping.

The first taste burns your throat slightly, the next taste less so, and you are soon adjusted to the hotness, trying the many dishes spread before you and eating far more than you normally do.

If you are an “honored” guest, as they say in Africa, your hostess has personally selected the duckling which she has cooked with coconut milk. There will also be a banana and meat stew, Ugali or rice or potato or perhaps all of these served in huge bowls, and also a vegetable dish like our braised cabbage. Some of these dishes will be cooked with coconut milk and some with groundnuts (peanuts).

Dessert is always fresh fruit of the region. Tanzanian honey is featured at the Kilimanjaro Hotel of Dar Es Salaam, one of the loveliest hotels in Africa. Honey and coconut are fitting accompaniments to Tanzanian fruits and are especially good with pineapple slices. Any fruit drink is called Squash throughout Africa. The concentrate may be purchased at the market and is always served at dinner.

Hands are washed before and after the meal and wiped on a towel which is passed around.”

I’m delighted to see that everyone washes their hands since those same hands all dip into the same pot of food.  Gulp.

I can’t wait to see it all for myself and give you the real story…

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This one is an African saying:

Haraka, haraka haina baraka.

(Hurry, hurry has no blessing.)

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Here at the missions house we have a chain-link fenced in back yard.  The past few days we’ve put the dogs out there and later looked out to see Theo (the little toy poodle) running around in the front yard.  We scoured the bottom of the fence for an opening and saw none.  How was he doing that?

Jonathan began looking at the gates and decided he was probably squeezing through the small opening in the main one.  It looked impossible!  So he gently pushed Theo into it and voila, he was out!  I couldn’t believe it.  We blocked that opening with a birdhouse, put him in the backyard again, went down to the playroom and peeked out the window to watch him.  He checked out the new closure and walked off.  The next thing we knew he was in the front yard again but we missed how he accomplished it.  Drats! 

We went back out and examined the other gate.  The opening there was tiny but Jonathan tried to squeeze him through.  He didn’t fit.  We set him back down, stayed on the outside of the fence, and called him.  He ran to this little corner of the fence and squeezed through that hole.  Ha!  So we covered that one with another birdhouse, put him in the back yard again, and then spied on him from the playroom.  He ran from birdhouse to birdhouse.  No more escaping! 

When we were inside later that night Jonathan cheered in victory that we outsmarted the dog.  Not that hard to do really but worth celebrating nonetheless. 

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People sometimes ask me how we’re “passing the time” between now and our departure date.  Here’s an update on what we still have to do:

We will begin buying the items we need to take with us such as toiletries, sunscreen, bug repellant, converter kit, water filter, bath towels, washcloths, haircutting scissors, and electric clippers (among many other things).  Once all purchases have been made we’ll decide what to take with us as excess baggage and what to airfreight over.  Then we’ll begin packing everything up and take the boxes to JAARS to have them prepare to ship them over for us.  (They won’t actually do it until August but they need the stuff well in advance.)  We’ll also have some things to store long-term here in the States so once we’ve identified that stuff we’ll box it up and decide where to keep it.

We have tasks such as buying a safe deposit box to store our important documents, getting the equipment insured, designating a Power of Attorney, filling out legal paperwork that goes along with our will, finalizing the dog plan, taking them to the vet to make sure they’re healthy to take the flight over, and changing our address to my parents’.

This month we’ll be preparing our 2nd Quarter newsletter and before we leave we’re going to make “prayer magnets” to give out.  Our days and weeks are also filled with things like: writing thank you notes, sending birthday cards, shopping for Father’s Day, volunteering, and now visiting people before we head out.

So how are we passing the time?  We’re keeping busy for sure and trying to make sure we’re passing the time instead of letting it pass us by.

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This is a couple in a small fishing village near Lake Victoria in Tanzania. 

First of all, interestingly enough, in this culture the bride is not to show any happiness during her wedding.  So that’s the reason for her straight face.

But what made me cry was their wedding cake.  THEIR WEDDING CAKE!!  That little, simple cake on a baking sheet covered with aluminum foil.  Wow.  Simplicity.  That amazes me for some reason…  And I don’t cry out of sympathy but out of the realization of our differences.  It’s such a small detail, a small difference but it really seemed a large contrast to me somehow. 

I don’t make any conclusions from this.  It’s only 1 picture and not from the town we’ll be living in so there’s nothing major I can learn about life there but it does make me think of my own wedding/reception cake.  What I thought was normal now seems huge, luxurious, and extravagant…not that there’s anything wrong with that…but little by little I realize just how much I’ve grown up with…and how much I’ve taken it all for granted.  There’s a lot more to be grateful for than I can even grasp.  May I have a heart of thanksgiving…

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My question today is: when is it just personality, just ‘who I am’ and when is it sin?

I prayed today that God would show me any sins that I need to confess and in my spirit I felt I should confess and repent of my take-charge, anxious, controlling ways.  But there is a balance as well.  I want to say, “But God this is the way you made me!”  And He did make each of us in a unique, distinct way but because we live in a fallen world with a sinful nature our personalities didn’t stay pure.  So how to get back to that balance?

I take charge.  In some circumstances that’s okay.  Someone has to, right?  Look at apostle Peter.  (Not that I’m comparing myself to him…goodness.  I only take charge when no one else does it…) 

I get anxious.  God says, “Be anxious for nothing…”  So this is never okay and this is where I most often go wrong.  And it is directly linked to the need I feel to always be in control.  But God is really in control and if He is my Lord and King I submit to Him and trust Him to handle everything and to accomplish His purposes in spite of my failures and weaknesses.  (Because my anxiety is also linked to the belief that it is never okay for me to make a mistake.  It really is time to take that shackle off.)

So I pray today that God will show me when I’m being who He made me to be and when I’m in the bondage of sin.  My life would be richer if I would repent from the darkness and walk into His marvelous light. 

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