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Where’s the Rule Book?
I think I already posted on this but now that Asher is here I am bothered by it all over again.
As you know if you’ve read this blog a while, I am all about things having clear answers. That’s my personality. I’m an accountant. We calculate and analyze to come up with solid solutions. There is one right answer to every problem. And I view life sort of that way too. (I say “sort of” to make myself feel less like a freak. You can read that sentence without “sort of” to know how I really think.) There is one right way to do something and every other way is wrong. Not to be judgmental on those who make different choices. I don’t really care what other people do. For myself, I feel best when I have found THE answer and I implement it. It makes me feel secure. It’s not about “being right” but being confident that I’m not making a mistake. Simple as that.
Asher has rocked my world. One expert says he should have this number of dirty/wet diapers a day. Another has a different number. Errr… Some say one way is best to get your child to sleep. Others say that way is horrible and this opposite way is best. Should I wake my baby to feed him or let him sleep? There are opposite opinions on this too. Everyone has opinions but no one seems to have THE answer. So I’m supposed to use my instinct, right? But what if it’s wrong!? Where is the rule book? I want to BE SURE (a big thing for me!) I am doing THE BEST for that sweet little boy who is dependent on us for his very life and well-being. And I mean 110% sure – no doubt about it – this is the RIGHT way.
But it’s not going to happen is it? No one has a formula for raising happy, healthy kids do they? One clear and clearly researched answer to every question. Man! This is a tough pill to swallow.
6 Responses to “Where’s the Rule Book?”
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:12 am
Don’t feel like a freak Dana. You know me (accoutant and all); I was the exact same way. I talk confidently to you now because I’m out of that stage. But if I had another baby, I would be that way all over again because they’re all different.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Kids are one of the really big tools that God has in his toolbox to help us become broken and humble before him. I was trying to find a passage in The Brothers Karmazov the other day where a main character cries out: “We want answers to our questions!” (I think that is a paraphrase, so I couldn’t find the quote). Accounts may be that way. Engineers like me are that way. But generally I think it is the human condition. We want answers to our questions. God in his infinite mercy and wisdom tells us what we need to know, not what we want to know. My experience tells me that you hve many decades ahead of wishing you had just the right answer for every question. Swallow the pill and enjoy the ride
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:51 pm
And you know what else? You WILL make mistakes. It’s inevitable. We all do. Urgh.
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:09 am
It might be good therapy if you write your own book of right answers and then do a revised edition for your next child…
It might be a money maker, you never know.
March 24th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
There is a right way Dana! It is the way that works for you and Asher and Jonathan. That is your right way! The way that leads you tto pray about why your baby is crying, about how to best figure out his schedule, about how to keep yourself sane. It is the ‘way of the Spirit’ so to speak guiding you as you discern what is best for you and Asher. Bon courage my friend, you are doing it ‘right’ already by picking it apart like this. You are using discernment and judging what is best and healthy for your family.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:51 am
Gotta go with Anita on this one. I was listening the Message version of the Bible the other day and Paul was saying, “There are rules about this and rules about this. If you focus on the rules, you’ll never really live and you’ll still break some. But if you focus on living how God wants you to, if you focus on pleasing Him, then all the rest falls into place.”
(My paraphrase)