This entry was posted on Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 6:00 am and is filed under Asher, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.
Maybe I should explain
I realize now that I have given the impression that Asher cries a lot. I should clarify.
I’ve been asked if he’s a good baby. Of course he is. No matter what. If it were true he screamed all the time he’d still be perfect because his fussiness isn’t his fault. He’s just trying to tell us what he needs. If he didn’t cry at all, we’d never know to help him.
But he doesn’t scream all the time. I’ve never been around babies so I didn’t know what to expect. I thought it was as simple as him crying and me going through a checklist of possible problems, solving it, and him calming down. At first, this was not our pattern. It’s getting better. He’s starting to trust that we’ll be there to help him. He doesn’t stay as upset for as long as he used to.
I’ve also been asked how much inconsolable crying he does. Okay, not much. I’ll admit that in the beginning I thought he did have inconsolable crying. I now think he could have been consoled if I hadn’t been clueless. The answer is usually pretty simple with him. He loves to be held. Upright. On the shoulder. That’s the solution 90% of the time. The only time I can’t help him is if he’s gassy. But it does go away and he does end up feeling better.
Yes, he does get fussy. Never, it seems, without reason. We are all learning how to be a family. We’re figuring out how to help and care for him. He’s beginning to understand we’re responsive to his needs. I’m still disturbed by his crying, especially when it escalates to a scream, but isn’t that the way it should be? If it didn’t phase me then I’d be worried.
3 Responses to “Maybe I should explain”
March 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I think babies are one of God’s ways of teaching us to expect the unexpected. To give up on the idea that a formulaic response exists for all situations (or even most). Asher is a little person and you are having personal relationship. Getting to know his likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, etc. etc.
You are doing great! You and Jonathan are both doing great! Keep up the good work, mom and dad.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:22 am
Here’s little trick for the gassiness–unless research has shown it scars a child for life in the seven years since my gassy baby.
Do “I love you” on his tummy. Really. You lay him on your lap, propped up a bit. Draw a straight line down like an “i” — use both hands’ fingertips to move out and up, then back together along his tummy which will form a heart — then do a “u” — all this with a little bit of pressure.
It supposedly helps move the gas bubbles through their digestive system. Or maybe it just makes a mom feel better because we have something to “do.”
April 9th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Sounds familiar.
Sunshine likes being upright too, held against my chest. We also do the “crunches” with her when she’s gassy: lay her on her back on your lap, take her feet in your hands and push them towards her stomach. And if I’d remember more often to check her diaper when she’s fussy… 