Through the Seasons

I think I already posted on this but now that Asher is here I am bothered by it all over again.

As you know if you’ve read this blog a while, I am all about things having clear answers.  That’s my personality.  I’m an accountant.  We calculate and analyze to come up with solid solutions.  There is one right answer to every problem.  And I view life sort of that way too.  (I say “sort of” to make myself feel less like a freak.  You can read that sentence without “sort of” to know how I really think.)  There is one right way to do something and every other way is wrong.  Not to be judgmental on those who make different choices.  I don’t really care what other people do.  For myself, I feel best when I have found THE answer and I implement it.  It makes me feel secure.  It’s not about “being right” but being confident that I’m not making a mistake.  Simple as that.

Asher has rocked my world.  One expert says he should have this number of dirty/wet diapers a day.  Another has a different number.  Errr…  Some say one way is best to get your child to sleep.  Others say that way is horrible and this opposite way is best.  Should I wake my baby to feed him or let him sleep?  There are opposite opinions on this too.  Everyone has opinions but no one seems to have THE answer.  So I’m supposed to use my instinct, right?  But what if it’s wrong!?  Where is the rule book?  I want to BE SURE (a big thing for me!) I am doing THE BEST for that sweet little boy who is dependent on us for his very life and well-being.  And I mean 110% sure – no doubt about it – this is the RIGHT way.

But it’s not going to happen is it?  No one has a formula for raising happy, healthy kids do they?  One clear and clearly researched answer to every question.  Man!  This is a tough pill to swallow.

read comments (6)

When I was pregnant (and over the morning sickness) I thought there was no way I was really that hungry all the time.  I had to be imagining it.  I kept track of my weight and as long as I wasn’t gaining too much I kept following my hunger pains and cravings – eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  But I never really bought into the fact that the pregnancy was making me that hungry.

Then I gave birth.

It all went away.  Now I couldn’t care less what I eat.  I just grab something and keep going.  I don’t crave anything and I don’t wake up hungry in the middle of the night.  I could actually eat 3 good meals a day and be satisfied. 

So I guess it’s true.  You really do have hunger and cravings during pregnancy.  I do think I could have indulged a bit more though.  Drats. 

Maybe next time…

read comments (1)

NCAA Tourney Time! 

I love this whole process.  I can’t wait to fill out my bracket, making my “I-don’t-know-a-thing-about-basketball” predictions.  Then I get to follow each game having someone to pull for.  As each game comes on, I grab my bracket to see who I have down (because I surely won’t remember), then I cheer as if I had gone to college there myself! 

I love that there are a million different games on at once.  It’s a whirlwind!  I love that there are upsets galore during the length of the tournament.  Anything really can happen.  I love the crazy fans and the fight songs.  It’s all just a ton of fun and seems like it comes and goes in the blink of an eye.

Jonathan set up a bracket challenge group thingy on espn.com for us.  It’s called “Baby Ball” and our motto is “A little dribble goes a long way”. 

Let the games begin…

read comments (0)

I’ve been told it’s brave to post my postpartum tummy picture.  Well.  My bravery continues then because here are more.  Again, I just remember how much I wanted to know what my body would look like just after having a baby and no one could really tell me.  Here we go.

I’m posting this first one again so you can see them all in one place.  When I first gave birth and was still laying there the midwife said, “She WAS all baby.  Look at that!  Her tummy is FLAT!”  And all the nurses agreed, oooing and ahhing over how small I was.  Then I got up and looked in the mirror.  Um.  This is not a flat tummy!

One Day Postpartum:

About a week later I was down 17 pounds with 9 pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I was feeling pretty good about my progress until someone said to me, “Well, you look like you’re about ready to have another one.” 

9 Days Postpartum:

I am now 15 days postpartum and down 20 pounds with 6 more pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I still have some shrinking/healing to do.  Nursing does help the uterus a lot.  I have done NOTHING on my own to lose weight.  This is all a natural process of what my body did after birth.  This was taken yesterday (and I would like to note that I had yet to fix my hair).

2 Weeks Postpartum:

read comments (2)

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.  ~Elbert Hubbard

read comments (1)

I love Asher Chad McCall with everything I am.  The funny thing is that there’s no reason for it.  I mean, he didn’t do anything to be loved.  He just…exists…and that’s enough.

I imagine, as I never have before, that God loves us that way.  Now isn’t that just amazing.  I’ve heard it a million times.  We don’t do anything to earn God’s love.  It’s not what I do but who God is – my Creator and love itself.  All I have to do is exist and He loves me.  How encouraging.  What a relief. 

Of course, He’s not going to love everything I do and He’s going to discipline me.  But.  That doesn’t touch the love He has for me.  That’s sealed up tight and untouchable.  It just is. 

He loves me.

More than I love Asher.

Wow.

read comments (4)

I was told by many to sleep when baby sleeps.

read comments (5)

…is not mine!

And these are the things they don’t tell you.  There are pregnancy books for before the birth and baby books for after the birth but what about the crazy things my body is going through NOW?!  I may be more bewildered by this body than the pregnant one.  Hmph.

How long will it take, I wonder, until I look more human again instead of like a ‘Who’ (as in Dr. Seus)?  How long until my body isn’t swollen, stiff, and sore? 

I guess I’m just grateful for how “cute” and “beautiful” everyone said I was when I was pregnant.  I sure hope no one asks me when I’m due (how embarrassing) because I still look pregnant to a certain extent (except instead of a nice, round, mound I have a balloon of jello).

But oh well.  I’m not overly traumatized but I am completely surprised.  I’ve even had to call the hospital to ask if what I’m experiencing is normal, and it is.  I just wonder why they don’t prepare you for what your body is going through as the mother.  Giving birth is quite a process for the woman’s body and deserves a bit more attention. 

I did take an after-birth tummy photo because that’s the one no one ends up taking or showing – and the one I always wanted to see when my due date approached.  So…as hard as it is for my vanity, here it is… 

On the upside, I’ve lost 17 pounds in the first week postpartum so only 9 pounds to go and I still have a lot of uterus to finish contracting which should help a lot.  I look a lot different than the picture above already so that’s very encouraging (and I just can’t get enough encouragement these days).

read comments (10)

Happy Birthday to the man of my life and the best husband in the whole world!

read comments (1)