Through the Seasons

After a very frustrating beginning, my Swahili is coming right along now.  Being with Mama Imanueli 5 days a week helps a lot because we have to communicate with each other.  I assign tasks and then answer quesitons about how exactly I want things done. 

But now we’ve reached a new level.  The other day we actually just chatted.  We had a real, person-to-person conversation!  I found out she is 36 so we’re about the same age.  She seems older though since she has 4 children with her oldest being 18.  (I never did the math on that.  She started early!)  I told her I was going to have to hurry to catch up with her.  I told her about Jonathan’s brother, Chad, who we honored in Asher’s name.  She asked how many children we want and I told her maybe 3 but that I’m old to be having children so we’ll see… 

And, as far as I know, I haven’t agreed to anything lately without knowing what I’m agreeing to and that’s major progress.  Today I have to tell her where certain things go in the kitchen that she has put in the wrong place and I have to show her how to fold certain kinds of clothes.  I hate correcting people but it’s either that or re-doing her work when she leaves and that’s just silly.

My Swahili isn’t great but I’m certainly making progress and I feel very encouraged now.  There’s no telling how much I’ll (re)learn in a year or two’s time! 

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Because there has to be one.

We had things in storage at the SIL office in Dar that got stolen.

We had things shipped to Mbeya from Dar that got stolen.

We were told to be careful with our househelp because people frequently get things stolen by their househelp.

One night last week there was an attempted break-in at the SIL office here in Mbeya.

And now we find charges on our credit card that we didn’t make.

So in the matter of a few months we’ve had to deal with this theft issue how many times?  Too many.

What is God trying to teach us here?  That we have too much stuff?  (surely not – haha)  But there just has to be a lesson in all this. 

I have learned a few things about myself through all this though.  I want to trust.  It feels better to trust.  And when that trust is breached I find it very hard to get back to a place of trust, even if I should.  I’m not sure what to do with that information but I have learned those few things anyway. 

It has never been about the stuff as much as the experience of being stolen from.  Jonathan once said, “You can’t trust anyone in this country.”  I said, “You can’t trust anyone anywhere.”  Doesn’t the Bible teach us we’re all sinful?  So maybe trusting people is imprudent from the get-go.  Or maybe this is just an opportunity for grace and mercy on my part seeing that we’re all in need of Jesus. 

I guess I’ll go straighten up the house and ponder these things allowing God to penetrate my heart and thoughts giving me new insight and perspective.  I always say there’s a lesson in everything and when we’re faced with the same issue in multiple ways over a short span of time it makes me feel like I’m getting a crash course.  And sometimes it just takes stopping a moment to let the lesson take root.  I think I’ll go do that now…

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In the past, I’ve had one man to honor on this day – my daddy (yes, I still call him that).  And I do still honor him today (Happy Father’s Day, Daddy).  He’s the best granddaddy Asher could have as well and this is how I know:

Thank you, daddy, for always encouraging me, believing in me, and being patient with me.  Thank you for passing down traditions to me that I can now incorporate into my own family.  Thank you for making me the woman I am today and remember I’m still your little girl.    But a special thank you for being a wonderful babu to Asher.  He’s a lucky boy!

Today is extra special to me though because I get to honor another man as well:  my husband.  I didn’t know when we married what kind of father he would be.  To see him care for, protect, and play with his son makes me grateful for the man he is.  Happy Father’s Day, oney, and thank you for being the best daddy Asher could have!

I love you both!

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…that the name of this recipe is Easy Pound Cake.  Bah!

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Jonathan went recently to get our boxes out of customs.  They are so different here than in Iringa.  We didn’t have to pay any duties on our 5 packages. 

So what did we get?

Well, these 5 boxes were from my parents.  When we left we couldn’t fit everything into our excess baggage so we had them box that stuff up and send it BUT they also included a few surprises.  (Thanks mom and dad!)  The dogs each got a treat.  Asher got 2 teethers.  We got grits (aaahhhhh…) and koolaid.

We’ve also gotten a few envelopes.  In those we’ve received a dish towel, a dish cloth, 2 hand towels for the bathroom (that remarkably match our bathroom), seasoning packets, ranch dressing mix, and gum.

Thanks everyone!  Like I said earlier, we’re like kids at Christmas when we get mail here!! 

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Let’s continue with the home tour.  Our living room will be changing as we get new cushions for the living room furniture but here it is as of now:

I’m standing in front of the dining room table looking into the living room.  To the left you’ll barely see Asher’s swing that sits behind the couch and next to my computer table.  To the left of the fireplace we have a wall hanging we got from a dear friend who brought this back from China.  It’s the Scripture about sending workers into the harvest written in Chinese script.  On the fireplace is a painting we brought back from Honduras, candles we brought from the States, and flowers we picked out of our garden.  On the fireplace we have our Memorial Day/summer/Independence Day flag that will hang there until about September when I’ll put one of my two Fall flags out.  I have a few seasonal flags that I will change out with the American seasons: Valentine’s Day, Easter, summer, Fall, and Christmas.  On the table is a candle being held by a votive holder I made one day at a pottery place with a friend.  And, yes, that’s the crazy poodle sitting on the rug we bought in town.  It’s from Saudi Arabia.  Sounds expensive, doesn’t it?  Well, it wasn’t.  It’s quite an international room, isn’t it?

Now I’m standing at the back doors.  All that “junk” you see is actually my card making stuff.  I finally got it out and organized.  Now I can start making cards to send out.  Well, when I actually get the time to do it, anyway!

Now I’m standing in front of the “junk” looking towards the hall that leads to the bedrooms and bathroom.  This is what a bookcase should look like:  full, full, full of books.  Next to it are flowers we got from our garden and then the rocking chair we’re borrowing from the landlord until Asher no longer wants to be rocked. 

And now I’m standing in front of the bookcase.  You can see my little “nursing station” on the couch: glass of water, boppy, book, Bible.

This is looking into the hall.  That table won’t stay there but I don’t yet know where it will go.  These rooms aren’t quite ready to be presented yet.  Soon, soon…

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When we first arrived here we had an influx of visitors. I was tired, overwhelmed, disorganized, and I’m an introvert so was in desperate need for time alone. The constant knocks at the door drained me. But now, although I’m still not feeling 100% settled in (and may never feel that way), I’m grateful for the visitors and have begun to really enjoy getting to know the other people on our team.

It’s amazing that a stay-at-home mom with a 3-month old baby and no car has met anyone and all the credit goes to those who wouldn’t let me sit here alone but visited and invited us out to their homes as well. I get my alone time every once in a while and so far it’s been enough. I get out too and so far that’s been enough as well. Because there is, after all, too much of a good thing. Being out and being alone are both good things.

I know that not all locations in Tanzania have a group has hospitable, friendly, and welcoming as the one in Mbeya which makes me even that much more appreciative of the people here.

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Because Asher is the best, sweetest, smartest, strongest, cutest, most wonderful boy in the whole world who has ever been or ever will be (totally unbiased opinion, of course) I want him to have a perfect mother.  Which has made me consider finding one to give him to and then it dawns on me – there isn’t one.  And that makes me feel much better. 

For whatever reason, God has entrusted this boy to my care so I take that responsibility seriously.  (Okay, maybe too seriously sometimes.)  I find myself slowly shedding the desire to be a PERFECT mother and gaining more and more confidence as HIS mother. 

I read a book recently where a daughter had lived in anger towards her mother for working instead of staying home with her children.  That woman’s own daughter was angry with her for other things although she had chosen to stay home and raise them.  So no matter what decisions we make as mothers we could be (and, okay, probably will be) seen as imperfect to our children.  And that’s okay really, isn’t it?  If Asher were to think his parents were perfect people we’d just be destined to fall off that pedestal and disappoint him anyway.  And if we were to give the impression that we’re perfect would we be suggesting he should also be perfect?  Impossible expectations.

So I’m learning and growing as time goes on.  Some days I struggle with my new role as it’s such a different life than I’ve had up until now but as I look back over the past 3 months I realize I’m relaxing into this role and I know my son much better now than when I brought him home from the hospital.  I thought I should have known him better the day he was born but now I see that I will be getting to know him throughout his life as he changes and reveals his personality to me. 

All I know about him right now is that he’s the best, sweetest, smartest, strongest, cutest, most wonderful boy in the whole world who has ever been or ever will be.  Have I mentioned that already?

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I finally had to admit that to actually keep up with everything that needs to be done around here, I need some help.  And more than 2-3 days a week.  So we hired Mama Imanueli 5 days a week which makes us her sole employer.  We presented the idea to her to see if she would want to do that and she danced, swung her arms in the air, and praised God.  That’s not the reaction we really expected.  Needless to say, she agreed. 

I sat down the other day and determined what I would have her do each day on a regular basis then translated it all to Swahili.  It was kind of fun actually.  I’m still figuring out how long things take her.  What I thought was a reasonable amount of work had her busy the whole time she was here one day (5 hours) and another day that I thought I may have given her too much it only took her 3 hours so I’m going to have to switch some things around.  I don’t want her busting it on a couple days and barely have enough to do on others.  Of course I don’t mind her being able to leave a bit early sometimes too, especially Fridays, but I just want the work spread out a bit better for her. 

The things she does for us include sweeping, mopping, laundry, dishes, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, going to the market, watering flowers, and baking bread.  She’s a huge help!

So what do I do?  Well, first of all we’re still trying to get the house settled in.  But mostly I take care of Asher.  He still wants to be held or entertained a lot so that’s what I spend most of my time on.  Other than that I cook breakfast for Jonathan and I both most mornings (but he’s on his own sometimes).  Then I make lunch and dinner for both of us since he comes home for lunch.  I fold and put away clothes when I can as well.  Then just general straightening up, writing thank you notes, sending birthday cards, blogging (very important ), and, like I said, Asher, Asher, Asher.

Mama Imanueli is a lot of fun to have around too.  When Jonathan comes home from lunch he is constantly interrupting her to joke with her or to ask or tell her something.  They talk and laugh, talk and laugh, talk and laugh.  I told him it was good he wasn’t here all day or she’d never get her work done.  He told her what I said and she said it was healthy to laugh.  I was thinking, it’s healthy to get your work done too – but I hate to sound so strict and cold-hearted.  Yes, yes.  Laughing is healthy.  Still glad he’s not here all day. 

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The second room you walk into in our house is the kitchen.  The third is the dining room.  (Then finally (finally!) you will enter the living room…)

Here’s the kitchen as you leave the utility room.

And here it is looking back into it from the dining room.

Here’s the dining room as you enter it from the kitchen.

Now I’m in the dining room looking over toward the computer desk that will also now serve as my little craft table.

This is the view looking back into the kitchen.  The door to the left goes down the hall to the bedrooms and bathroom.

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