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Reflection on Motherhood
Do I love Asher?
Well… Love is a funny word isn’t it?
I love chocolate. I love Nascar. I love pizza. I love wearing make-up. I love traveling. I love going to the spa. I love chick flicks. I love high heels. I love purple. And pink. I love Autumn. And Christmas. The mountains. The beach. Arizona. Alaska. Getting my hair colored, cut, and styled.
Do I love Asher? Hmmm… There should really be another word for it. I more than love him.
Do I love motherhood? I do.
Do I always love it? Well. I don’t. Can I be honest? It’s hard! It’s very hard. And when I feel like I’m failing I no longer like it. Okay, so my real issue isn’t with motherhood but with perfectionism but this particular condition colors all areas of my life, unfortunately.
Motherhood is the ultimate lesson in selflessness isn’t it? I thought marriage was pretty good at that but being a mother blows that out of the water. What’s even harder is being a wife first and a mother second when your baby is more dependent than your husband (well, let’s hope so anyway) and now you have both of them to think of before yourself.
But. We’re supposed to think of ourselves completely last, aren’t we? Do we ever really accomplish that? Not without the Holy Spirit’s help for sure. But it’s possible. Surely. With God’s power anything is possible and I believe that is a prayer He would love to answer.
That’s why I’m crying out to God for more and more and more help the longer I live. What I ultimately want is more of Christ, less of me…
One Response to “Reflection on Motherhood”
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September 26th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Personally I think at this stage your role as mother supercedes your role as wife. Asher needs you more than Jonathan does, and Asher can’t cope without you.
And I dunno about thinking of ourselves completely last. The Bible says we need to ESTEEM others better than ourselves, true, but in practically the same breath it says to look out for the interests of others AS WELL AS our own (not before).
Anyway, yeah. Motherhood = selflessness. Oooooohhhh boy…..