Through the Seasons

The clouds are dark!  The wind is blowing!  The rain is starting to fall!  I pray our water tank gets filled up so we have a fully working house!  I’ve never been so excited about running water in all my life! 

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It says so right there in Second Opinions 3:2.

I really did believe that.  I didn’t realize it though because I didn’t actively think about it.  Through my study of the Psalms one thing that really struck me is how much God reaches out to the poor, helpless, and needy.  He’s not looking for self-sufficient or independent people.  As Jesus said, the sick are the ones who need a doctor.

But still somewhere deep inside I don’t want to ask God for help unless I have exhausted all of my other resources because it’s what I should do.  It’s just a cultural belief that I have applied to God with no Biblical basis for it.

What I should do is humble myself, admit my weaknesses, and run to my Helper.  Why try to do on my own what I can’t when He’s there with unlimited power to rescue, deliver, and protect me?

From where does my help come from?  It comes from the Lord.

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Yesterday was a good day.  Asher woke bright and early at 6:15.  We changed him into his “Christmas morning” outfit, changed his diaper, then noticed him acting sleepy.  So I nursed him and he was asleep again by 7:15.  At 8:30 Jonathan and I woke up and got dressed.  Shortly after, Asher woke up, this time a bit more refreshed.

Then we opened gifts.  Oh it’s so much fun with a child!  By the end of it he figured out how to pull the wrap off the gift himself (after we loosened the tape of course).  His main gifts were: 

from us – a wooden alligator that bends and rolls around (you can hook a string to the front to pull it), a wooden bangle bracelet that we figure he’ll like to bang on stuff, a soccer ball

from grandparents – books, blocks, Little Rascals DVD, a learning bear, bath toys, and probably his favorite so far is a zoo toy.  You bang it with a gavel and the animal pops up, makes a sound, then plays music.  He loves to bang on stuff so this is right up his alley! 

So he had a great Christmas and got lots of stuff!  Jonathan and I did too.  From family we got clothes, DVDs, books, calendar, and an ice cream maker (yum).  Jonathan and I got each other 1 gift each.  He got me a nativity scene at a store here (I collect nativity scenes…or would like to anyway).  It’s a plaque of wood with Mary, Joseph and Jesus carved out of wood on it.  I got Jonathan the new Jeremy Camp CD.  Actually I took a piece of cardboard and wrote “Jeremy Camp CD” on it then wrapped it.  I wasn’t sure if I should order it or download it…  So he gets to figure that part out.

Okay, this is a long post and we’ve only gotten through opening gifts so far.  Maybe I’m giving you too many details but let’s keep going…

After presents we got ready to go to church at Mama’s.  She told us that church is at 11am and lunch is at 1:30.  We told her 11am on Christmas morning would be very hard for us but we’d do what we could.  We said, “We can be late right?  If you say 11am it probably won’t start until later.”  She said that actually they tell people church is at 10am so 11am would be closer to on time.  Haha.  Anyway.  We got there just before 1pm.  We had to stop on the way to get a gift for them.  You take a gift to someone when they have you over for a meal.  We took them 5 kilos of rice and a bag of candy for the kids.

When we arrived church was already over.  We had some hanging out time with them then ate lunch.  They served a HUGE meal by Tanzanian standards.  A huge and expensive meal.  We had 2 kinds of rice (one with spices in it and one without), beef stew, cucumber, and bananas.  Then we hung out a bit longer and left about 3:30. 

We swung by the old house to get a load of stuff from there then to our place to cut up veggies for our evening meal with friends.  American friends.  Heehee.

We got there at 6pm, ate a FABULOUS meal (just picture a good Christmas meal and that’s what we had), then played Mexican Train Dominoes until 10pm.  We went home feeling so tired.  Two of us anyway.  Asher wanted to play again!  So he finally gave up at 11 and we “slept it off”. 

This morning we go get the rest of our stuff out of our temporary house.  Then have lunch with coworkers.  After that we go get stuff out of our old house (hopefully all of it).  What a busy day!  I guess we’ll rest tomorrow.  Maybe we’ll make it an “ice cream and movies” day.  Yippee!!

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I have always had a problem with assertiveness.  To simply want something and express it with direct words is very hard for me.  I think, “Do I really have the right to ask for that?”  Usually that means I let the frustration of putting my wants and needs aside add up until I get angry and then I can say what I want because it has gotten “bad enough”.  It’s crazy and illogical I know.  But boy is it a hard habit to break!

Here at the new house some neighbor kids came to play with Asher today.  That’s all fine and good.  Asher really, really enjoyed it.  But then the oldest girl (maybe 7) asked to take Asher to her house and return with him later.  Eeks.  Gasp.  Gulp.  What to do?  What to do?  I didn’t want her to.  I don’t know them very well.  And take him how far exactly?  How many people will be there?  And even if I didn’t have a reason I could verbalize, I’m his mother and I wasn’t comfortable with the situation so the answer in my head was ‘no’.  But could I simply say ‘no’? 

I went for it.  I said, “Sorry.  No.”  She repeated that she would return with him.  I said, “You can play with him here only.  Sorry.”  She was sooooooooooo disappointed.  I pushed the guilt aside and walked away.  I just couldn’t deal with it.

I was curious what is acceptable in this culture though so after the kids got to playing again I asked Mama if it was okay to tell her ‘no’.  She said ‘yes’ because a lot of people would be there and he would get passed around from person to person to person.  Yay then.  I did okay on all fronts.

Later Asher fell asleep and I laid him down.  The 3 kids were playing in our living room.  I didn’t feel like this was a good idea.  How do I politely tell people to leave my house?  Geez.  How difficult!!  So I told them that since Asher is asleep they have to play outside.  (Their father is here working so that’s why they’re here at all.)  So they left but ventured back inside.  I told Mama that I told them to play outside.  She turned to the kids and said, “Play outside.  Or.  Go home and play with Asher sometime later when he’s awake again.”  And off they went!  Aha!  So it’s that easy, is it?

Again I asked Mama if it was okay to tell them that.  She said ‘yes’.  She said that they tried to take the toys outside but she brought them in.  Her idea is to get some kind of outside toy where the kids could play outside.  She also said it’s a good idea to tell the kids, “You can come play after lunch today for 1 hour.”  And that’s it.  Stick to it.  She explained that otherwise they would want to be here playing all the time.  And that’s not okay. 

No.  It’s not. 

I want to be culturally sensitive here.  I want to be hospitable, friendly, and a good neighbor.  But too many times in my life those type of desires have caused me to shoot myself in the foot.  So I wonder.  Is this a test??  Okay it’s true I’ve had a hard time setting boundaries for myself – but – now we’re talking about my child.  And that’s a whole different ballgame.  If I don’t protect him and take care of him who will!?!?  Right.  No one.  Worse yet.  What message am I sending him when I don’t stand up for him?  That he’s not worth it?  That he’s not that important?  Banish the thought!

So I hope I passed this small test today.  I’m not ready for the ones to come but I will push through it.  The worse thing that can happen is for the kids in the neighborhood to be offended right?  And Mama already said that’s not going to happen.  So… 

Gulp.

Deep Breath.

I will set boundaries around my sweet baby.  Because he is, in fact, worth it – even when it’s hard or uncomfortable for me.  He’s more important than my shakey emotions.  I can do this! 

(Excuse me while I continue my pep talk…)

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So I had a bit of a pity party today.  We’re still moving.  Our stuff is in 3 different locations.  We don’t have power or water and hit a snag with that whole process today.  The only store where you can buy Christmas gifts has been closed the last 3 times we’ve gone by there.  (Is it Christmas Eve eve or not!?!?)  The dogs have a major flea problem for some reason.  We haven’t decorated the house at all yet.  I made my annual chocolate cake last night but still haven’t managed to put icing on it.  I can’t seem to get a picture of Asher in Christmas clothes before he has spit up or spilled something on them.  In general I feel disheveled and displaced.

I don’t know.  It’s just a lot to take.  I felt defeated and considered just throwing Christmas out the window completely.  So I sulked a bit and teared up a bit and grumbled a bit…  Thankfully my Scrooge-itude didn’t last until Christmas morning. 

I realize life could be worse.  A lot worse!  I know a couple of families that have been split up recently.  There is a woman in my mom’s church who buried her 2-year old daughter today.  There are people who have just lost their jobs…  people who are struggling with their health…  So no – it’s not that bad really in the grand scheme of things.  And even if it seemed bad at the time…

I am still progressing through the Psalms right now and that really refreshed my outlook today.  It was helpful to remember that we praise the Lord because He is good… not when we think He is good… or if we think He is good.  He is good and to be praised at all times.

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Saturday evening we moved the bed, stove, fridge, and a few essentials to the new house.  And we’ve been moving ever since.  The plan is to get everything out of our temporary place today then get the rest from the old house later this week. 

Lots still has to be done on the new house.  The plumbing system has to be hooked up, the inside doors hung, the kitchen cabinets, shelves for the pantry, and wardrobe for the bedroom all have to be built…  But it’s nice so far and none of these things should take an exorbitant amount of time.

And of course this week is Christmas so I have shopping, decorating, wrapping, and baking to do!  Yay!  I may leave my decorations up (and eat goodies) a little longer than usual this year because of our late start.  The plan for Asher is to video his first Christmas AND take pictures.

I’m so excited for Christmas and about moving.  Right at this moment my two favorite boys are taking a nap even to the sound of doors being installed.  Amazing that they can do that really but I may try to join them. 

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Jonathan is officially off work now until next year.  (Yay!)

We’ve gotten Christmas gifts from family.  (Thank you!)

A bunch of Christmas cards have come in the mail.  (Thank you again!!)

Jonathan and I have adopted our role as Santa looking for gifts for Asher’s first Christmas.  (So far…  a soccer ball.  Don’t tell him…)

We’ve also gotten each other a little something each.  (Okay, it’s hard with no Target or Best Buy but we managed just fine.)

I have been baking Christmas goodies and singing Christmas carols.  (Fa la la la la la la la la.)

The Christmas lights are plugged in.  (Mainly because we don’t have power, these will run on the generator, and they give off good light.)

We have the Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas, Frostie the Snowman, and Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer to watch.  (Thumpity-thump-thump.  Thumpity-thump-thump.  Look at Frosty go…)

And I’m EXCITED!!  I love Christmas and it’s practically here!!  I’ll be spending my time until then wrapping gifts, baking a Red Velvet Cake, pumpkin pie, and Jello Cheesecake (that I got in a care package), and wondering what Santa is going to bring me.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…just like the ones I used to know…where the treetops glisten…and children listen…to hear…reindeer in the snow… 

Hummmm….Hummm….Hummmm…Hummmm…..Hmmm…Hmmm….Mmmm..Mmmm…Mm….

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Christmas gift suggestions:  To your enemy, forgiveness.  To your opponent, tolerance.  To a friend, your heart.  To a customer, service.  To all, charity.  To every child, a good example.  To yourself, respect.

~ Oren Arnold

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Cheka is by far the doggiest dog I’ve ever had.  He loves to be outside.  He chases bugs and frogs, eats bones and rocks, digs in the dirt, and jumps around in the grass.  I mean he’s like a real dog!

By contrast Teddy goes outside, sniffs around, does his business, and makes a b-line for the door.  He could care less about bugs or rocks or dirt or grass.  He’s content to be in the house, at my heels, guarding his food, or trying to escape the baby’s grasp.

I’d love to leave Cheka outside more but at this temporary house I just can’t and honestly I don’t like standing outside while he plays so he doesn’t get as much free time as he probably should.  Jonathan does take him for a walk every day and I do let him out.  I just can’t wait until I can do that more often.  I let him stay inside for free time some but that is such a strain on my nerves.  Trying to keep him to his 1 toy and away from Asher’s toys – trying to keep Asher from pulling his tail or sticking his hand in Cheka’s mouth – and all sorts of things I don’t want happening between them.

Hmmm…  Our groundskeeper just arrived…maybe he’d keep an eye on Cheka for me.  I think this is a good idea!  Off to let Cheka out of his kennel (which he goes into freely when we tell him to thank goodness).  That’s going to be one happy doggy dog.

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