Through the Seasons

I’m still on my “Bible-by-Forty” plan.  I have gone through the Psalms.  In January I finished a study on Ephesians.  That was great.  I learned a lot, grew a lot, changed a lot – exactly what should happen when studying Scripture.

Now I’m on Genesis.  I did find a Bible study online but it was 43 weeks long with 5 days of work for each week.  No matter how I looked at it there was no way to fit that study into the month of January.  So instead I’m reading 2 chapters a day, looking up the original Hebrew word when I need further understanding. 

After I read my Bible, I have a prayer time.  Today in my prayer time God pressed upon me that now is the time to do my Beth Moore Bible study on the Fruit of the Spirit so I’m going to do that along with my Genesis reading. 

I love my plan!  It’s great so far!!

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After a few bad things have happened recently I’ve found myself thinking that I deserve a break.  I started examining this belief today and realized that I am expecting the impossible.

We live in a fallen world as sinful people surrounded by sinful people.  In this world it is LIKELY that we will encounter bad things and the ONLY WAY we experience good here is FROM GOD.  Not from the world.  Not from others.  And not from ourselves.

It has been important for me to acknowledge this reality.  I have found myself much less bitter over my valleys in life and much more grateful for every mountain – every gift – every blessing.  I also realized that I had my hope in the wrong place.  If I’m looking to some day find happiness and comfort in this world I’ll continuously be disappointed.  My hope is in God and my eternal inheritance.

And how much God has blessed me when I look at my situation in this light amazes me and brings me right to His throne to thank Him, thank Him, thank Him.  He is good!  All the time!

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Asher loves, loves, loves Teddy. 

Teddy hates, hates, hates Asher.

It’s too bad.  It makes me sad.  I see how much Asher loves dogs and how he really can’t have one just yet.  I mean we’ve lost two.  The one we have left isn’t a good one for little kids.  And I’m not sure when we’ll be ready for another one.  I already want one but man the work of a puppy.  Cheka was easy because he liked being outside so much.  We think the next one will totally be an indoor lapdog.  That’s not easy to find in Africa.

Asher likes to follow Teddy around the room.  He walks (yes, WALKS) up to Teddy.  Teddy bolts.  Asher walks to his new spot.  Teddy leaves again.  When Teddy starts growling I stick him outside and tell Asher, “I know you’re playing but he’s not.” 

Last night this little game was happening (with only one willing participant) and Teddy got up onto the couch.  Asher walked over to the couch and Teddy snapped at him.  Right at his face.

Oh no.  I will take no chances when it comes to my baby.  So Teddy is now pretty much outside all the time.  Of course he doesn’t care.  There are plenty of places to sleep out there (we have foam out there).  He’s got food and water.  The guard is with him out there at night.  I’m sure Teddy enjoys begging for the guard’s midnight snack.

I hate it for Teddy but if something were to happen to Asher I would have to say, “I knew better.”  Because I do.  It’s time to follow those instincts.

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I should be sleeping.

I should be sleeping.

I should be sleeping.

Asher didn’t have a good night last night.  His second tooth is coming in and that affects his sleep.  Then this morning he had just gotten to sleep and Mama woke him up.  Gah.

Ever since then I’ve been waiting, waiting, waiting for his afternoon nap.  Yawning.  Internally moaning.  I’m so tired.  I’m so tired.  I’m so tired.

And now he’s asleep.  I laid there a minute and – bing – remembered something I had to do.  Now here I still am “doing things”.

I need help.  Serious help.  What is wrong with me!?  It can NOT be this hard to take a nap!!!

Yawn.  But as they say.  If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again.

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The other day I decided to make a schedule.  I wrote down all of Asher’s playtimes, feedings, nursings, and naps.  I wrote down all of my responsibilities too.

And it’s not working.

I have decided that it may be unreasonable at this time to try to follow such a strict schedule.  What I do is dependent on Asher’s schedule and that’s a bit too unpredictable and I don’t want to get frustrated if he wants to nurse earlier or doesn’t nap as long as expected or has more dirty diapers than usual or…  Well you get the point.

So we’ll be flying by the seat of our pants a bit for a while.  That’s not easy for me but it’s a lot easier to go with the flow than to swim against the stream so instead of fighting what is naturally happening I’m just going to go with it.

And with that – click – the schedule is deleted.

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Today was a good day.  It started out kind of rough.  A couple waves of sadness passed over me but they always went away. 

Then this afternoon a friend came over for a cuppa tea.  She’s been in Africa many years and raised 5 kids here (most are grown now).  It was nice to talk to her and to realize that every day isn’t going to be a particularly good day.  I also got an idea of which expectations I had that were unreasonable and which ones weren’t.  Just sitting with someone and talking about where I am right now and how I got here made me feel relieved. 

There’s a reason we’re not supposed to go through life isolated from each other!  Community is so important. 

And on that note I have yawned so much writing this that I can barely see the screen from my eyes watering and I’m so tired I don’t even remember what I wrote.  So a witty closing won’t be happening this time.  Maybe tomorrow…

G’night.

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They found Cheka today.  He had fallen into a deep hole and drowned.  I’m not sure how much one person can take all at one time…

I want my dog back.

Actually I want both of my dogs back.

Am I too old to scream, “No fair!  No fair!  No fair!”?????

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I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it.

We have searched.  We have asked around.  We have handed out and posted fliers.  We have waited for him to return.  And we’ve searched some more.

He’s just gone.  It’s so hard not to worry about his health, happiness, and safety.  Poor Cheka.

Another sad day…

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Boy ask and you shall receive!  I barely mentioned going back to my old blog look to Jonathan and here you go!  Ahhh…  Home Sweet Home.  There’s something comforting in things staying the same sometimes.  *takes deep breath*

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Well not really but kind of.  I heard from someone that she started preschool at 2 years old.  Wowee!  Is that possible?  And it is!  There are resources out there beginning at 2 years old!  Who knew!? 

I’ve researched homeschooling a bit today and I’m so excited!  The real fun doesn’t begin until around 3-4 but you can begin teaching very early on.  I got some ideas of things to start with Asher now.  Nothing formal or forced.  Just introducing him to books (which is already happening), teaching him body parts, singing songs with him, etc.  Actually looking into it makes me more disciplined and intentional in showing him things more than changing anything that he’s doing.

Right now he seems to teach himself.  His motor skills are developing great and he likes to play with different things and in different ways but it’s probably a good time to start saying words over and over, pointing things out to him, teaching a few basic signs (sign language), and those sort of things.  I want to make sure we’re having fun with it.  If learning is a drag for a 10-month old there’s a problem. 

It’s so much fun to watch all of his firsts.  I mean the biggies of course but even the small things.  The first time he clapped.  The first time he picked something up with his first finger and thumb.  The first time he put a block on another block (when previously the fun was always knocking them down).  He’s amazing to watch.  I love it.

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