Through the Seasons

Planning vs Doing

I think I came to a realization today.  I really, really, really like to plan.  Well.  That’s not the realization.  I did already know that.  BUT.  “Planning” is my “doing”.  This I didn’t know.  I mean.  I guess I did kind of know it.  But today it really hit me.

I made this whole “Bible-by-Forty” plan.  Man was that fun!  I kept rearranging the books…what do I want to read in January of 2012?  What do I want to read after Ecclesiastes?  Fun, fun, fun.  (Not only that but my plan is also on a spreadsheet.  Double the fun!)  But now actually following the plan…well…it’s fine but let’s just say the “thrill” is gone.  Until I go look at my spreadsheet again and discover what I’ll be studying next month.  Genesis is next.  Then 1 Peter.  Why does it excite me to have a plan? 

Just the other day…was that yesterday?  Hmmm…  I had totally lost my motivation and really just wanted to lay around watching Julia Roberts movies.  Today I made a list of things I want to accomplish and all the sudden I have direction…focus…motivation…okay…control…  My lists give me a sense of control.  My planning gives me a sense of accomplishment and progression.

Why I hate “standing still” I don’t know but the problem sometimes is that the making of the list and plan is the fun part for me.  Trudging along with the plan sometimes gets boring.  No wonder it’s hard to finish things off sometimes.  I’m usually a strong starter but poor finisher.

And all this is to say – well – I don’t know.  It just is I guess…  That’s my confession for the day I suppose.