Through the Seasons

ABC

On Sunday, I listened to this great sermon series on “Emotions that Destroy” by Chip Ingram (www.lote.org). 

He suggested using the ABC method when you feel yourself getting angry.

A – Admit your anger

B – Backtrack

     Since anger is a secondary emotion, look to see if it is one of three underlying emotions:

          Hurt (from a real or perceived unmet need)

          Frustration (from a real or perceived blocked goal)

          Insecurity (from a real or perceived personal attack)

C – Course of action

(You really have to listen to his series to get the full details of it all.  I highly recommend it!)

Since then I’ve been stopping when I feel anger begin and following the ABC method.  I find myself saying “blocked goal” almost every time.  And often.  Blocked goal, blocked goal, blocked goal.

This tells me two things:

1.  I have a lot of goals. 

2.  These goals are important to me. 

So I asked myself why.  The answer (as is the answer to a lot of my questions) was CONTROL.  I want to control my environment, surroundings, and the events of my day. 

Now that leads me to the question, “Why is control so important to me?”  And to that I don’t have the answer.  I just don’t know.  And now I want some sort of magic formula to follow where I just don’t care about control anymore.  But I think instead it’s just going to take a lot of hard work.  A slow process. 

The only counter-actions I can think of are:

1.  Let go of my goals (i.e. expectations)

2.  When things don’t go as I expect, relax and trust that God is in control

It’s a journey and instead of buying a self-help book I’m resting in God and letting Him show me the way.