Through the Seasons

Hi everyone!  You’ve still arrived at Dana’s Avenue…erp…I mean Control Freak in Chaos…that is now…

(drum roll please)

Through the Seasons

I thought a new look would be nice for my blog but when I made my choice my old blog titles didn’t fit so I had to come up with something new.  And don’t you just love how well Proverbs 18:10 goes along with it?

I love my new look.  Thanks, honey, for putting it up for me! 

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A new member to our team arrives tomorrow evening.  We wanted to try to set up house a bit for her so she doesn’t arrive in too unsettled a situation.

Her neighbors (who she already knows fortunately) are having her house cleaned and will be there for any issues she may have that we haven’t all thought of.  Jonathan and I spent the morning gathering some household items for her to borrow.  We also bought basic food supplies (that she’ll end up paying for) to get her through her first few days.

Thanks to all of you we put a gift bag together with the leftover stuff you sent for ladies’ night at conference.  To that we added a little houseplant.

She arrives kind of late so her neighbors will pick her up from the bus station, have her over for dinner, and then get her into her home.  I think she will go shopping on Monday to get more of what she needs.  Hopefully she won’t desparately need anything but it’s hard to really plan well for someone else.

This is our first go at helping a new member settle in.  I think from here it’ll only get smoother.  We’ll have plenty of practice too as we have two families arriving soon:  one in December and another in February.  Practice doesn’t always make perfect but I think we’ll continue getting better anyway.

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We took a trip to Tukuyu yesterday.  It is only an hour and a half away but is drastically different in appearance and climate from Mbeya.  It is beautiful and mountainous, green and lush.  It rains year-round so everything grows well there including avocado, wheat, tea, and potatoes but the banana trees by far dominated the landscape.  They grow 11 different types of bananas and are very proud of them!

We were there a long time so entertaining Asher was a bit of a challenge but not too bad at all.  He did really well. 

Inside the church he played on the pews.  Climb, climb, climb.  Outside he gathered rocks, one of his favorite activities.  For the first time he saw pigs and goats up close.  Ever since, he has been imitating pigs.  It’s supposed to be a snort but comes out more like he’s coughing something up.  Very cute although not an appealing sound to hear as often as we’re hearing it.  His prideful look after he makes the sound though more than makes up for it.

Asher had plenty of opportunity to practice his “amkia-ing” where he puts his hand on top of the older person’s head to show him or her respect.  And of course everyone ate that up.  He also liked to watch the kids who wandered by the church.  Many times he would walk up to the child then start to follow him/her…until I decided he had gone far enough and steered him back.

Jonathan’s meeting with the pastors went really well and he can tell you more of those details since I wasn’t privy to all the goings on with it but I will say it was satisfying to sit and listen to the scripture being played and then the discussions that would ensue.  They were so excited to get to listen to the recordings of Ruth and Jonah and at the prospect of later getting copies of them to distribute.

So what we were home 3 and a half hours later than expected.  There’s no hurry in Africa…  (so they say )

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Furlough plans!?

Yes we’re supposed to plan ahead.  As in a year in advance! 

Music to my ears.

Our furlough is preliminarily scheduled for October of 2010 through March of 2011.  We originally thought we’d go back in the summer of 2010 but then we decided that it would be nice to be there from the time of our anniversary through Thanksgiving and Christmas and then through March to include all three of our birthdays.

We have a couple of ideas of where to live each with its own pros and cons.  The main challenge we have right now is transportation.  It is expensive rent a car for 6 months!!  So if any of you know of a car we can borrow while there please leave a comment or email me. 

Now how furlough works is that part of the time is accrued vacation and the rest of the time is called something like “home assignment”.  So basically we are in the States but still working.  We do have a couple ideas of what that work will be and have started planning accordingly.  Even Jonathan. 

Part of our “free time” will be visiting supporters and churches, hopefully including a trip to Florida.  We will even get to participate in Bible studies and English worship services.  That should be refreshing.

Homeschooling will start after returning from furlough so I’ll be purchasing curriculum for that.  I can’t even imagine moving into that area of life but I know it will happen faster than I expect.

So I’m excited in a guarded kind of way because I don’t want to start counting down or anything.  I just feel like we survived one tough first year and are well into the second with improved morale, focus, and productivity.  I’m looking forward to being in the States again, seeing friends and family, and communicating with people about life and ministry here.

But again I’m not counting down.

400 days.  (Approximately.)

Who said that?

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So I cross-stitched yesterday.  I made pretty good progress for one afternoon.  It’s a very detailed pattern (the stocking I’m making for Asher) so progress is hard to see but I was happy with what I got done.

And that got me thinking.  How did I have time to do that?  I say I don’t have time to cross-stitch.  And in truth it was a little hard to keep Asher from climbing on me while I was doing it but he has grown up a lot since I cross-stitched the last time.  Now he listens very well so yesterday when I got started I pointed to everything cross-stitch around me (pattern, thread, cloth) and told him not to touch the cross-stitch.  “The cross-stitch is NO TOUCH!”  And he didn’t touch it.  The cutest was when he would climb up onto the couch and sit down next to me to watch.  Every time he saw the needle come back up through the fabric he would giggle.  And I kept telling him that I was making him a stocking.  It warmed my heart.  Really.

But the more I thought about this last night the more I realized that what keeps me from working on this cross-stitch or reading or writing cards is my online activity.  That’s *really* where I spend most of my “down time” (and breastfeeding time).  I don’t get much down time but when I do I’m on the computer.  My morning routine includes “catching up” online. 

So I thought about that.  What do I do exactly?  I have blogs I read regularly.  I log into Facebook to see what everyone has been doing.  I read through Twitter.  Sometimes I look at the news.  I post my own statuses for Twitter and Facebook.  Then I’m ready to start the day.

But I read an article last night and the girl said something about how these things are fun but they don’t enrich your life.  Egads!  Yeah I wasn’t thinking of it that way.  I figured, “What’s the big deal?”  But the big deal is that it’s a lot of wasted time.

This morning I went onto Facebook and read through updates from “friends” that went something like this “going to bed”, “sleepy”, “happy birthday so-and-so”, “ready for church”, “going to church”, “can’t wait to get to church”, “looking forward to church”.  And that was after I ignored all the quiz results and Mafia Wars posts.  And that’s when it hit me.  THIS IS NOT ENRICHING MY LIFE!!!  And I did all this while being anxious over the fact I have cloth diapers to hang out on the line, dishes to put away in the kitchen, and the day’s meals to plan. 

So I narrowed my blog feeds to those of friends…well…and The Pioneer Woman of course and have decided that I do NOT need to go on Facebook on a daily basis.  It makes me feel “caught up” or “tuned in” but I don’t know that it really does those things for me.  I think I could really streamline my online activity a bit…or…a lot.

Now to go narrow down who I follow on Twitter…

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There are only 124 more days until Christmas!  I’m already getting excited and starting to think about gift ideas.

I say it’s not too early.  Here’s why.

First, I love Christmas.  Love, love, love.

Second, I love to plan.  We live far away from family and have to find the best ways to get gifts to everyone while staying within budget.  We also have to be careful what we buy for each other because we will end up having to get the gifts here.  And shipping things to/from Africa takes a while so we can’t wait too late.

For Asher I will probably just get him a couple small things from a craft store here.  (They have a wooden dump truck I have my eye on.  )  He doesn’t really get the concept just yet so I figure that’s okay for him and he’ll still love it.

Which reminds me that I still have that stocking to cross-stitch for him. 

I can finish this.  I can finish this.  I can finish this.  (My goal is by Christmas of 2010.  But I honestly think that’s still pushing it.  Sigh.)

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We took a trip today to Makete today for Jonathan to record some Scripture in the Kinga language.  It went unbelievably well (until we returned but I’ll get to that).

We left at 7am for a 3 hour ride up into the mountains.  It’s such a beautiful drive.  There aren’t many other vehicles at all and the roads are – well – not great.  While Jonathan recorded I let Asher just literally run around.  His favorite activity at the moment is to collect rocks.  Most of the time he gathers them and relocates them.  He’s a busy baby! 

After that was lunch and we were back on the road at 1:30 which is right at Asher’s naptime.  He slept for an hour this morning (because he woke up earlier than usual) and an hour this afternoon.  The rest of the time in the car he was extremely happy and playful.  Sometimes a car trip goes like this.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  We had a co-worker with us today and I think she was good company for him.

We returned home at 4pm, an hour earlier than expected.  But when we arrived in Mbeya the air conditioning had gone out.  Again.  That car. 

We told our househelp yesterday that we would put a key under the back mat for her to use when she got to work this morning.  Our assumption was that she would put the key back when she left.  And that’s where we went all wrong.  I don’t know how many years it will take me to learn to specify every step of a process.  These things don’t naturally come to mind yet.

We finally got the key an hour later.  I should just be thankful we made a safe trip but I admit I had to force myself to shake off the irritation.  And since we’ve only been home an hour I’m still shaking it off.  Deep breath.

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Sunday was SIL’s Day of Prayer where we share with local churches about our work here and encourage them to support it (so that they can benefit and take the Word to others as well).  We went to a local church where Jonathan was set to present during the sermon.

I took my camera.  I took no pictures.  I was just trying to survive.

We usually either do church online at home or the English service run by expats.  At that service if your child is going to be disruptive he or she goes outside to play.  So we always go outside to play.

I haven’t had Asher at a Tanzanian church since he began walking, running, climbing, yelling, and banging. 

When we got there they were singing.  It was loud and chaotic.  Asher did fine.  He was a little shocked by it all.  But it wasn’t long at all until a man got up to talk.  And talk.  And talk.  And it wasn’t long at all until Asher checked out and decided his church experience was over. 

He was squirming and whining.  I was trying to hang onto him.  The man behind me told me to “just leave him”.  So I set him down.  He ran out of the back of the church.  I followed him.  Then he ran back in.  Then he ran back out.  Finally I decided outside was the best idea for us.  There were a couple of other kids out there his age so they kind of played together.  Asher was having a great time climbing up and down the stairs, gathering rocks and bottle caps, making laps around the church, yelling out over the walls, and watching the bigger kids.

Inside I could here the talking continuing.  Now this wasn’t the sermon.  This was not the pastor talking.  I don’t know much about what went on in there except that there was a lot of talking mingled with some singing.  Eventually a man comes outside and tells the kids to go inside.  (The Tanzanian kids.  Not my kid.  But I still took notice.)  They walked in then they drifted back out.  He once again told them to go in.  I took this as a cue that the kids should be inside.  Ergh.  So we went inside. 

A line of women were at the front of the church leading a prayer time.  Asher once again wanted out of my arms.  The man behind me told me to “just leave him” then told me in English “let him enjoy life”.  I thought, “Is this the culture here?  Okay.  Let’s see what happens.”

What happened was not pretty.

Asher walked up in front of those praying women.  He started banging on the glass in the podium and yelling, “Babababababa!”  The head woman handed her microphone to the woman next to her, picked Asher up, and brought him to me. 

So the guy behind me was wrong apparently.

Then it was Jonathan’s time to do his presentation.  I was trying to entertain Asher there at my seat.  I had toys and snacks.  That’s what people take to church to keep their toddlers quiet right?  The trademark care kit for church:  toys and snacks.  Asher looked up and saw Jonathan and climbed up on stage. 

On stage.

I got close to him and grabbed him.  He slid away from me and ran to the other side of the stage.  I went to that side to get him.  He ran to the other side.  He was having a great time.  I was contemplating beating him into a pulp once I got my hands on him.

I didn’t though. 

I wasn’t mad actually and I wasn’t as embarrassed as you would imagine.  I was already too exhausted to be embarrassed.

Jonathan got him and handed him to me.  Oh and the congregation was laughing.  The people here just love kids, especially foreign (white) kids, so I guess that’s why we kind of got away with it to some extent. 

We sat back down and I just kept chasing him around a bit until Jonathan got done.  Finally he did sit on my lap for a handful of minutes looking at a video on my MP3 player and eating snacks.  But then he started tugging at his diaper and I realized I needed to change him.  Oh.  That was after nursing him. 

And this is after being there for 2 1/2 hours.  We went out to the car.  I changed him and then fed him his boiled eggs that I meant to feed him on the way to church but forgot.  After about 45 minutes church was letting out but no Jonathan.  Soon enough the pastor’s wife came to get me to go have tea with them. 

We were led to the pastor’s office where Jonathan was already having tea and chapatis.  Asher again started getting into everything.  He wanted to drink water out of a little water bottle.  We were doing fine until he grabbed it out of my hand and poured it all over himself…and then pooped.  A doozy.

Finally 4 hours after our arrival we were driving away with Asher in only his diaper.  Since we were about an hour later than his usual nap it took him about 60 seconds to fall asleep.

I still don’t know what to expect from this curious and active a child at this age.  I wish I could have prepared him a little better but I don’t know if he would have really understood.  It did dawn on me later that it being a new place is one of the biggest factors.  I really can’t imagine him sitting quietly through a church service but days like this make me want to do 2 things:  stay home forever and go out more.  I’m conflicted.

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I may have Attention Deficit Disorder.  Is that possible?  Can you develop ADD later in life?  Or maybe I’ve always had it and didn’t realize it.

I can not for the life of me pay attention to anything for very long.  I can’t listen to a full sermon.  Actually I can’t even listen to very much of a sermon before my first “mental check out”…or twelve.  The same goes for Nascar races.  I love Nascar races.  But it doesn’t take very long into it when I realize I have no idea what is going on and have missed the last – um – lots of laps!!

Or maybe I’m developing the attention span of the person I spend most of my time with these days.  That’s my best theory so far.

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We have been having some issues with our househelp lately.  Jonathan and I finally sat down this week to discuss the situation.  It seems to us that she no longer enjoys her job, takes pride in it, or has a passion for it.  She used to and it just feels like the light in her has dimmed. 

Instead of coming up with more rules and structure, which was our first response, we decided to start showing her appreciation.  Our theory is that after working for us over a year maybe we’ve gotten used to her and have in turn started taking her for granted.  And maybe that’s what she’s feeling.

So every 3 months we’re going to start doing a Performance Review with her, evaluating several different areas.  A few (such as trustworthiness) are going to be 10’s about every time and it’s always good to be able to praise her for those things.  A few are more challenging for her (such as initiative) but definitely possible to acheive. 

On Friday we all sat down and went through her first review telling her things we saw that were good and areas we see as opportunities for improvement.  She just loved it.  WAY more than I thought she would.  I don’t know how things like this are culturally but she enjoyed it and couldn’t wait to go home and show her review to her husband.

We also considered giving a bit of an “appreciation gift” with the review but those aren’t handled well culturally.  Apparently they don’t see the gift as something showing that they have done a great job but when you DON’T give a gift they feel a blow.  So that won’t work on a regular basis.  Instead we will give her something like this (which could be anything like a kitenge or fake flowers – stuff they like you know) randomly so she can’t look at it like, “They gave me a gift at the last review but not this review.  I must have done something bad.”

It’s always challenging having employees in a cross-cultural situation.  It’s also difficult for me to be doing my work (household and child) in the same space she is doing her work on a daily basis.  There are bound to be some tension and a few communication difficulties.  Hopefully we’ll work those out as we go along.

When we brought up to her that we didn’t feel she liked her job now as much as she used to she was emphatic!  “I like my job A LOT!”  I wonder if she thought we’d fire her for not liking her job.  Absurd!  I just really want to provide an work environment that is pleasant for her but at the same time not feel like a stranger in my own home.

We asked her if there was anything she needed to be able to do her job better and she said that since the mop bucket broke she has been lugging a big bucket around and it’s very hard.  WHAT!?  We had noticed that the mop bucket was now in a room with her cleaning supplies in it.  We thought she had purposefully done that.  Doh!  She also asked for a pair of shoes because she walks an hour (uphill but not in the snow ) to work each day.  Hers have worn out.  We’re not sure what we’ll do about that yet.  If they were more readily available it would be an easier fix.  Otherwise I think we’ve got the latest challenge at least addressed.  On to the next!

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