Through the Seasons

A little over a month ago I night-weaned Asher.  It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  Since then I decided to limit his nursings down to his most loved ones ending up at about 5 times a day.  He was doing fine with that but everything changed last Saturday.  It was such a fun day that he didn’t think to nurse all day.  He woke up at home for his first feeding and after we got home that night he nursed again and that was it.  And did he make up for it on Sunday?  No.  He nursed 3 times.  Yesterday we had a lot going on and he only nursed once.  ONCE.  I woke up at 3:30 this morning really sad because he still hadn’t woken up to ask to nurse.  Sigh.  He did finally wake up at 4:45 and usually I wouldn’t have nursed him that early but I decided to since he had gone so long.  Then he woke again to nurse at 7 this morning and has been playing ever since he woke up.  I really think he’s on the path to weaning himself now that I jump-started it.

So why am I so sad?  I think for several reasons.

First, it’s something that we share with no one but each other.  Second, it’s a bond and closeness we have.  Third, once it’s over, it’s over.  If I have no other natural children I will never nurse again.  Fourth, Asher is quite active and his nursings are a sweet time together.

But that last one leads me to realize that there are other times that he will calm down for me and I need to transition into those being our sweet moments.  Reading to him, singing songs to him, and watching videos together are all close, snuggly times that we share.

Oh and I guess the last reason is that him weaning means he’s growing up.  He’s not my baby anymore!  Gah!  But he still needs me right?? 

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Saturday we went to a dedication service of 7 books of the Bible in the Vwanji language.  It started at 10am and ended about 3:30pm.  Many people walked from their villages to the church where it was held in Matamba (about 2 hours from Mbeya town).

They gave me chills when they danced around holding the boxes of books.  They included Ruth, Jonah, Mark, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, and Philemon.  The people were excited and happy about getting the Bible in their language.  The pastor said that it was the start of a whole new world for them.  He also said that he has people come up to him after he preaches in Swahili and say, “Good sermon, Pastor.  I didn’t understand it though.”  It was also fun to see people immediately buy these Scripture books and devour them before leaving the area.

On a personal note, Asher did okay during the service.  It was 5 1/2 hours long so he didn’t sit through the whole thing of course.  We walked around looking at the sheep, donkeys, chickens, goats, pigs, and dogs.  He has started making sheep, dog, and cow sounds.  He also saw a little girl holding an empty water bottle so he started taking to her everything related to water bottles – caps, paper, bottles…  Then they sat down and played together for a while.  And, well, no.  Actually when he first saw her he threw himself down onto the ground.  Then he started picking up dirt and tossing it into the air.  Finally he got to the water bottle gathering.  I guess he was trying to find something to get her attention.  He has recently turned into an attention hound recently.  I didn’t realize this started so young!

For me I enjoyed the service.  I think coming in and out really helped me not to get too tired through it all.  Afterward, they served us a meal and then we hit the road.  I think the whole lot of us who went are kind of worn out today.  Nevertheless, it was an honor to be there.  It’s nice to see the work here come to fruition in such a big way.

Photos from Saturday are on our website:  http://www.mccalled.com/photographs/0910dedication/.

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I really, really want to tell you about the Scripture Dedication today.  I really do.  And I will.  Just not tonight.  This day started early, it’s bedtime, and I really need some sleep.  Here’s hoping I wake up refreshed in the morning.

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Lately I have been praying for another baby.  There’s nothing wrong with this I know but I could tell something was amiss with my attitude.  I finally realized that I was insisting on another baby and couldn’t fathom a different plan being a good one.  I also saw God as if he was withholding from me.

But now I’m relinquishing my idea of the perfect plan.  Would I like another baby?  Yes.  Am I still praying for another baby?  Yes.  I am just loosening my grip on my idea of ideal and accepting what the Lord has for us.

I no longer see God “sitting up there” saying, “No.  I gave you one child and that’s enough.  I don’t even know why I gave you what I did.  You’re not good enough for one much less any more.  Be happy with what you’ve got.”  Gah!  As if God is like this!  Repent, Dana, of such a wrong view of God!

And I will no longer focus on my age and that clicking biological clock.

tick tock.  tick tock.

I choose to trust in three things:  His goodness, His timing, and His plan.  Yes I still have hope of more children but I’m grateful for the child I do have and for God in my life who knows and gives what is best.  So here I go – letting it go and laying it down, come what may.  I wasn’t controlling the outcome by holding onto my plan anyway.  I was just blinding myself to what God wants to do in my life.  And I do believe with all my heart that what God wants for me will be infinitely better than what I could come up with for myself.

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The news right now is that the power company here will be doing power cuts for the area:  15 hours a day (8am-11pm), 3 days a week rotating through the area.  Our days are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  If they stick to that schedule at least we’ll be able to plan ahead.  Right now we are doing laundry.  It should get done sometime overnight before the power goes out tomorrow morning.  One plus:  I secretly like lighting the house with a Christmas wreath.  Heehee…

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The water truck came last night and filled us up!  We’re so relieved!  We have so much laundry to do there’s no telling how fast we’ll go through it if we wash everything.  I’d like to conserve a bit so we don’t have to call them again very soon.  And maybe, just maybe, the rains will start and we won’t have to call them at all until April-ish.  But.  There’s no danger in using the water for washing right now anyway because the power is already off.  Looks like today will be a 14-hour day.  We shall see.  After being without water so long, the power outages don’t affect me so much.  As one friend said, “At least you can generate power.  You can’t generate water.”  Exactly.

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Every two weeks a water truck delivers water to our house.  When it gets close to that time we call in a reminder.

About a week ago we placed our call.  They told us the truck was broken so they couldn’t come.

We waited.  We called again.  Same thing.

We waited.  We called again.  They said they’d come that day!

They came.

Without the truck.

They came in person to tell us the truck is broken.  They need to deliver water to make money to get the truck fixed which they can’t do because the truck is broken.

Vicious cycle.

So we paid for this month’s water deliveries up front which was half of the cost of repairing the truck.

We waited.  We called again today.  They said that the truck is not fixed but they will come tomorrow.

With the truck?

Doubtful.

Meanwhile we had to stop doing laundry.  We started to get buried underneath dirty diapers.  Thankfully a friend close by washed the diapers for us so we’re out of those woods.  For now.  Asher is still – um – dirtying his diapers.  ::wink::

I looked today and we are dangerously close to totally running out of water.  The bathing will have to stop soon.  We may have to go buy drinking water.  But the dogs?  They really need to start praying either for rain or that water truck to get fixed!  ::smile::

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Well it’s official.  The dry season has caused problems at the power plant in Tanzania.  (Is this an annual event?)  They are rotating 14-hour power cuts all over the country.  Our day was Friday.  They cut the power from 9am to 11pm for that region.  I’m not sure how often it will happen for us but let’s pray the rains come soon and heavily!

We do okay during these power outages since they aren’t too long.  First, we have a gas stove so we can still cook.  We also have a generator that powers our American items such as computers, phone chargers, and small kitchen appliances.  What we lose is our washing machine, water heaters, refrigerator, and freezer.  Nothing thaws out that quickly thankfully.

There is a schedule of when each region will be without power but I haven’t seen it.  If I could plan for the outages it would be even less disruptive because I would make sure I had already turned on the water heaters and done laundry.

Overall it’s really not that bad.  I think expecting the outage helps somehow.  It’s worse to have it just suddenly go out on you.  It’s amazing what you can get used to.

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Okay we went to get our driver’s licenses again yesterday.  Here’s how it went.

Last week, if you’ll remember, “the man” wasn’t there so we couldn’t get them.  Yesterday we went in and “the man” said hello and walked out of the building.  But it didn’t matter.  We still went through the process.

The process is taking a test which goes like this.  There is a board with pictures of signs.  First the man asked what signs we knew already.  (Jonathan went first).  Then he asked us to name other signs that he chose randomly.  The signs?  Most we’ve never seen before.  They must be European but the point is we haven’t seen them here before.  Jonathan did pretty good at guessing what the signs meant.  (We think he did anyway.)  Me?  Not so much.

So he told us that we have to go to a Tanzanian driving school for 2 weeks before getting our licenses.  Actually he told me that.  Not Jonathan.  I said “okay”.  He kept saying this and asking what we thought.  We were like….okay.  Fine.  Whatever.  I just figured I’d keep on not driving.  I’ve gotten by a long time this way and a lot of people I know don’t drive so it’s possible to do without.

Then he told both of us that we have to go to a one week driving school.  “What do you say?”  We’re like…okay.  Thanks.  Bye.  I’m not sure what else he wanted us to say but we thanked him for his time and left to process the turn of events.

As we walked to the car we passed “the man”.  He asked if we got our licenses.  We told him the story and he told us to go get a book to study the signs (something I would have wanted to do before going in the first place) then to come back Friday and take the test with him.  We thanked him and walked to a different part of the police station to get the book.

Asher and I went to the car at this point so I only know what Jonathan has told me.

He went into the office and asked for the book.  The man there said, “Oh just give me your information and I’ll get your licenses delivered to you later this week.”

Huh?

He then sent us to a different place to get our provisional licenses that we can drive with (theoretically anyway) until the permanent licenses get made and delivered.  We should get our *real* licenses tomorrow.

Theoretically.

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I planned to sit down today and tell you all about our experience getting our driver’s licenses here.  Well.  I guess I can still do that.

The Tanzanian admin person at the office takes people through the process which is a huge help.  We were supposed to be there at 9:30am to get started.  She had changed her mind and wanted to go after tea break though which was 11am.  So we spent over an hour at the office trying to keep a 1.5 year old contained.  Not an easy task to say the least!

11am came and went.  Finally we left at 11:30.  First stop: police station.  We go in and our admin person starts talking to someone there.  I can tell it’s not going well.  Then I hear “kesho” which means “tomorrow”.  This is definitely not good.  Apparently *the* man who does driver’s licenses was handling a crisis in a local village.  They told us to come back tomorrow because it would be all over.

Well a crisis by definition isn’t that easily predicted is it?  So we’re going back next week instead.

I was so tempted to be angry at the waste of a morning but I have to keep reminding myself that God is absolutely sovereign and nothing is wasted in His economy.

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